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One year I unwrapped my present which was a necklace sporting the monogram letter "S" as the charm.

Ummmm....my name starts with "T".

Necklace was from my dysfunctional step-sibling so it is not like she doesn't know my name.

Oh wait....and the year someone got me a white blouse with the stain on the front. SOOO if you panic on Christmas Eve, just check out your dirty laundry basket for a few last minute ideas.

Anyone else wanna play "Fun from Christmas past"????

I can't top evenkeel's presents, but will share mine from the "I'm clueless and can't put forth the effort" camp:

One year, I was collecting a particular line of figurines and the ONLY thing I wanted was a particular piece that was retired and somewhat rare, but readily available on ebay and from secondary market dealers.

What did ExWH get me? A STUPID PRINTER

It was supposed to be a fabulous printer for printing pics directly from digital camera card. Hmmmmmmm...I couldn't care less, but I suspect ExWH wanted to print those pics. He never could get it to work so we returned it and he told me I could get whatever I wanted.

I went to ebay and bought the figurine I wanted in the first place.

I once got a used non-stick cookware set from the Goodwill. No lie.

How do I know?

- it had the blue "g" sticker right on the box

- it was definitely used because the coating was flaking off of the pans (rendering it unusable, anyway)

- the box looked like it had been through a few foreign Customs offices

Now, I'm not one to make a fuss, and I do believe in reuse/recycle - but, really? At least make sure your recipient can actually use the thing before you buy it from a thrift store, okay?

(My sister-in-law was the generous gifter. I don't need to go into how we don't like each other, I assume.)

A box of rocks. As in large gravel. Not fun rocks, like geodes or anything, just rocks.

The following year, the same people gave me a box full of unwrapped Baby Ruth fun sized candy bars. The package was addressed

To: NIK

From: Their dog

Yep. A box full of faux dog crap. Merry Christmas, NIK.

Who the HELL were these people, NIK??? Was this when you were a kid?

First thing that comes to mind is the nail polish/manicure stuff my SIL (stbx's sister, who lived 5 minutes away from us and got together with us frequently) gave me one year.

Sounds like a *fine* gift, until I add in the fact that, at the time, I HAD no fingernails. I was a nail-biter and the last thing I wanted to do was call attention to my hands. (not anymore, though - yay me!)

I never said anything to her directly about it, but I did say something to stbx.....so I'm sure she *heard* about my reaction....

Who the HELL were these people, NIK??? Was this when you were a kid?

Treading very VERY carefully due to the forum we're in... some people I'm no longer related to? Who believed that I "needed to lighten up" because I didn't find their humor amusing.

How'd I do? Am I banned yet?

I got a note saying, "I owe you a gift". No gift came- all forgotten. It's better not to pretend.

I got a brass letter opener from a cousin. The handle portion looked like a noose to me. I showed it to my parents, sister and aunt to be sure it wasn't just me. It wasn't just me. It looked really creepy.

One year my folks gave me a concrete opossum lawn ornament that they brought back from their trip to the Ozarks that year. It was a little odd.

XWH years ago gave me two pot holders with poinsettias on them ($2) and a cheap tin wind chime ($2) from the Family Dollar Store.

My brother and SIL gave me a christmas decoration....Santa had on a purple santa suit.

I'm special ya know?

Just this weekend as we were cookie baking, my daughter and I were discussing Christmas gifts past,and she remarked, “Dad gives the WORST gifts ever” which prompted me to tell her about a gift he gave me when we were first married. I had just bought myself a new Singer sewing machine and was gleefully creating outfits. My new H, who is of Scottish background and as tight as a drum, bought me a couple of yards of the ugliest purple plaid wool. He’d heard me say that I wanted to get some material (I was thinking black velvet) for a long skirt, so he bought me the ugly stuff because “it was on sale.” That was by far the worst gift I’ve ever got, but I made a skirt from it anyway because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I never wore it in public, though.

Once many years ago I received a small kitchen appliance from a sister-in-law. The appliance itself was fine, but I received it unwrapped and its box had been torn open. I knew she had gotten it as a 'hostess gift' for a Tupperware party or something that she had held, because I had attended the party! It was obvious that she opened it, decided not to use, and regifted.

Now, I knew that she was not well off financially, so I really didn't begrudge the regifting. I'm a practical person so I recognized the logic of giving us a useful gift that didn't impact her budget. But please, at least tape up the box and add paper and a bow! Make it look like a gift instead of a Goodwill donation.

back in 2001, my wife got me 2 porno VHS tapes (????). I was certainly surprised since we didn't watch porn nor could I imagine that she would actually walk into the store to purchase them.

[This message edited by toonces at 11:55 AM, December 19th (Thursday)]

I forgot about one....

One year my ex got me this ceramic box from the Dollar Store. It was shaped like a huge cross with these awful glass flowers on it. I opened it and did not know quite what to say.

He says "it looked like you....."

I took it to work to show my co-worker. She was speechless - it was really horrible-gawdy looking. I said "PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I AM DOING THAT MAKES THIS LOOK LIKE ME????"

She said that is so opposite of you. I am a tad OCD and do not like any sort of knick-knacky items, etc.

I was afraid I was going to start wearing polyester pants with matching crocheted kelly green vests!!

Edited...no offense to anyone sporting green polyester pants with a matching crocketed vest today. I am sure you are rocking it....

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 2:48 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]

Just a reminder that F&G's is an infidelity-free forum.

Thankfully, this gift wasn't for me - but I knew a lady whose H was the cheapest guy I ever met. She had mentioned that she was thinking of painting something on their porch - so he bought her a quart of paint!

My oldest sister used to have a habit of giving me three sizes too small clothes, usually with cats on them. I hung onto them for years, because they are gifts and it seemed wrong to toss them. Then I made an excellent discovery, her preteen daughter fits splendidly in them.

Edited...no offense to anyone sporting green polyester pants with a matching crocketed vest today. I am sure you are rocking it....

*snort*

Edited...no offense to anyone sporting green polyester pants with a matching crocketed vest today. I am sure you are rocking it....

Why yes I am....j/k

[This message edited by lieshurt at 3:32 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]