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Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 9:58 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
Seriously, I'm beside myself. Angry, sad, hurt all of it! And Xmas eve. I four little girls, with shining, bright, eager little hearts and I can't even look at them right now.
Why now? Why today of all days.
My heart is breaking AND I feel guilty and horrible.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 10:00 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
I'm sitting in the car, downtown, with a list of stuff to get and I can't get out of the car. I'm stuck. I'm broken. I can't do it anymore.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 10:02 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
You can do this, one step at a time.
Put the pain on the shelf just for a few minutes.
Come on, I will go with you.
Four little girls, what did they ask Santa for? 
ETA:
By the looks of your join date you are exactly where I was 6 years ago. I know the pain, the feeling like you will vomit at the drop of a hat.The wishing the holidays could just pass...
Don't let his A take this very special Christmas from you and your girls.Stand up, you can do this.
(((hugs)))
[This message edited by karmahappens at 4:08 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
Marathonwaseasy ( member #40674) posted at 10:07 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
Start with a bit of self compassion
I'm at the end of a very tough Christmas Eve now the other side of the Atlantic.
I had stuff to do and it was hard
One step at a time
Focus on the now and the kids
Do the stuff you really have to and no more
Call in help from anyone.
This shit hurts but you are not alone x
Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
lostcovenants ( member #40637) posted at 10:24 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
For your kids - you can do this. Say it out loud! I can so this for Sweet A and B and C and D.
My Christmas is for my sweet granddaughter who is soooo excited for Santa to come. I'm not going to let her hurt like I do. 
DDs, 1977 (prostitutes), 7/8/13 (LTA MOW), 11/14 (CL), 9/1/15 (PA).
Porn, 2DUIs, blame-shifting. I told both families & adult kids. I was suicidal and cutting.
I moved out for 2 years, he asked me to come home 10/16. R w exit plan.
STD discovered
cl131716 ( member #40699) posted at 10:27 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
The wishing the holidays could just pass...
This and what you, Morhurt, are feeling are my feelings as well. I'm so ready for the holidays to be over. It's supposed to a HAPPY time but this year just plain ole sucks. It's Christmas Eve and all I want to do is cry.
(((Morhurt)))
Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA
TennisTC ( member #41330) posted at 10:28 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
Sending you (((hugs))) and strength.
Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD 7
R'ing
Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 10:32 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
I'm trying. Not succeeding, not at all, but trying.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 10:34 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
just get through it
dont have to do it perfectly, just getting through is success.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 10:38 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
You can do this! I said the same thing to a friend of mine today and she told me to "buck up and put your big girl panties on!" she was right! You are stronger than you give yourself credit for! And 4 beautiful daughters!? You are truly blessed!! I hope the joy on their faces brings you some comfort! :)
Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017
Left him August 26th, 2017
Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
Thank you. You're right. Doing it.
I forgot that I don't have to solve it or decide something today. I think I was/am angry that DH is getting a nice Xmas. But it's not about him.
I love you guys.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 12:03 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
I think I was/am angry that DH is getting a nice Xmas
It only looks nice on the outside, don't worry he has his own pain to deal with.
Snuggle with the girls, I would love the chance to have my kids be little again.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
meplusfour ( member #38958) posted at 6:27 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
((Morhurt))
Focus on your darling daughters. I have four children of my own and they are the only reason why I am getting through this Christmas. This is such a special and magical time for them and it warms my cynical heart to see their joy. Just take it one moment at a time, let their laughter and merriment draw you in.
Merry Christmas!
BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."
HurtinginSoCal ( member #41492) posted at 11:08 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
I hope you were able to get through it and have a nice Christmas morning with your girls. I know how you're feeling, though, and haven't at all wanted Christmas to come. Fortunately, WH stepped up and while we did the shopping together in stores and online, he did all of the wrapping and cooking for breakfast morning (his family all comes over).
DDay - 11/13/13, eve of our oldest daughter's bday
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