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General :
SI and Triggers

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 MakingLemonade (original poster member #41143) posted at 6:30 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

After reading a post in JFO, I am triggering. Hasn't happened in months. Hasn't happened here at all. I hate this feeling! How do you guys deal it? I want to be supportive of others, but this feels awful. The post hit way too close to home. My only solution is to take a nap and hope it goes away.

Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

posts: 168   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Southern US
id 6611426
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 6:47 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

I take breaks from reading the JFO forum. It triggers me, also, and my dday was 2 years ago!!! Sometimes I will go on and just choose one story, respond to it, and then go back to New Beginnings.

(((making lemonade)))

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6611445
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 6:59 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

My brother went through infidelity about a year after my divorce...that was rough. I tried very hard to provide support and advice for him, while also trying not to trigger.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6611455
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:31 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

One of the most truthful things said here in SI is to take what you need and leave the rest. If reading in a particular forum triggers you, take a break from it. If you need to walk away for a while, do so. Do what YOU need to do, for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person or an uncaring person. It just makes you human.

BTW, I completely empathize. I still open certain threads and realize that there is nothing I can contribute because it somehow hits too close to home or triggers something in me. I just close them, try to say a little prayer for the person posting, and trust that one of our on-line friends will have their back. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6611574
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