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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Divorce/Separation :
Nothing but smoke and mirrors

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 suckstobeme (original poster member #30853) posted at 1:06 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

To all of us who get sad and upset when we see our WS and the AP making it out like they are one, big happy family, please try to remember that it's nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors. Bullshit designed to make you think dirtbag land is so great.

My ex dumbass had a family member in town for the holidays. He had the kids the weekend before Christmas and on Christmas eve. Over the weekend, my kids, OWs kids, and the three dipshits (him, her, and the relative) sang Christmas songs and played guitar like a happy little Brady bunch. Slunt put it on the Internet and dubbed it her quirky little family sing a long. Oh, look at us, we're sooooooo happy!!!

That's the Internet image.

The reality is that they did nothing special for the holiday over the weekend. When Christmas eve rolled around, slunt was nowhere to be found. She left exWH, his relative, and my kids to open gifts and have dinner alone. Dinner consisted of store bought fried chicken.

No special dinner so that the love of her life could celebrate properly with his kids who he does not see n Christmas day. Nothing special for the relative who comes here on average once every few years. Nothing. She could have cared less. If her kids aren't involved in the day, she disappears and does nothing to help "blend" their family.

It's all smoke and mirrors, my friends. Nothing more. These OW who snatch our families really want nothing to do with them in the end and they clearly do not love the WS. Love doesn't look like that.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2011
id 6613296
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 1:50 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Amen!!!

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6613335
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 2:02 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Yes. It is all smoke and mirrors in the end when real life sets in and they are not the center of attention anymore. Somehow the ego kibbles go by the wayside and they are stuck in a relationship with a person just as selfish and broken as themselves. Then the sad part is they often rinse and repeat again and again. It really is a sad existance in the end.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6613351
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 7:57 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Well said. I had to remember this when XWH brought the kids home on Christmas morning. I got to hear all about how they went driving around, looking at Christmas lights together (how sad... yet another tradition I initiated and kept to that he has to steal because he and CommandOwife don't know how to do anything but mirror true parenting), how they had a family Christmas breakfast (which I've never been into, so have at it), and how they made ornament crafts together (and brought me a couple-- I hope that the cheaters don't see my acceptance of that gift as some sort of acceptance of them... I didn't throw them out because MY kids made them and gave them to me).

What a dog and pony show. I like how you put it-- "smoke and mirrors." To me, that also signifies how the cheaters are blowing smoke up each other's rears to keep fooling each other and how they only know how to mirror normal, human behavior so that they can function within the parameters of acceptable society and look like "good" parents.

I preferred my authentic Christmas experience. I might be on my own, but at least what I have to offer my kids and family members is real love that doesn't have any strings attached to it or hides any ulterior motives. I also didn't have to destroy anyone in order to give or receive it.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 1:58 PM, December 27th (Friday)]

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6613832
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