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Newest Member: AnObserver

Just Found Out :
Is my wife cheating...again?

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cliffside ( member #38803) posted at 6:32 PM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

Sorry you found our little club but trust the advice from everyone here. Somehow the cheaters all have the same playbook. The first thing they try and do is deny and figure out what you know. Then they contact their AP to get a story straight and take it underground.

Get a VAR, find out who his wife is and send her the messages. And what is up with that transfer thing??!! I would get an apt with a lawyer ASAP!

Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14, broke again 1/23/15
180ing, in a state of WTFness

posts: 304   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2013
id 6618382
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DefeatedDad ( member #41026) posted at 8:34 PM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

Get to a lawyer immediately. Tell him you suspect she is trying to relocate and take the kids with her.

File for divorce and file an injunction barring her from taking the children out of state during the D proceedings.

She is having an affair. You trusted your gut and it paid off.

Is this guy married? You may want to call his wife and have her do some sleuthing on her end.

[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 2:34 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]

Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.

posts: 217   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2013   ·   location: New Mexico
id 6618560
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 8:48 PM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

Please listen to this advice. We do NOT want to read a post from you about how your kids are suddenly in another state. Once she moves you then have the added complication of dealing with two different jurisdictions. Without any existing court orders that will be a nightmare. If you kid an injunction and she tries to relocate the kids then you have an amazing amount of legal standing then.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6618575
tongue

lqqk4answ ( new member #41662) posted at 12:41 AM on Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

My phone bill online gives me all the calls and text, but not content ... but then content hardly matters at this point. Just saying there are things that can't be covered up.

D-Day: 5 Dec 2012
NC date: waiting
Me, BS, 57 years
WW, 53 years
Married 30 years at time.

posts: 31   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2013   ·   location: NM
id 6618855
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 12:57 AM on Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

If a married co-worker of mine (and I'm single right now, mind you) gave me a Kindle Fire for a gift, I would have given it back to him, insisted it was too much, and would have IMMEDIATELY cooled off our friendship. For what it's worth, I am not that chummy with any of the men I work with for that very reason-- it's inappropriate, unprofessional, and shows VERY poor boundaries.

Even if nothing is going on with this guy, and I hate to say that my gut is telling me otherwise, their relationship sounds unprofessional at the VERY least. You can be good co-workers and friendly without being close buddies. I may not be seen as warm and fuzzy at work, but I'd like to think that I'm seen as reliable, hard-working, and collegial.

Your wife, at the very least, needs to scale back any friendship (if it is just a friendship) with any guy who is buying or giving her a gift like that.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially after you've already given her the gift of R. Take care of yourself.

ETA: I read the rest of the thread. I'm sorry to see that your suspicions were right.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 7:02 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6618876
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happyman64 ( member #33212) posted at 3:42 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Get a lawyer. Find out your rights and protect the kids.

Then take the bill info and find the OM's wife asap.

HM

posts: 1971   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2011   ·   location: New York
id 6627376
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PRNDL ( member #41927) posted at 3:53 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

I am a firm firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater. This is based on my experience, research and case studies.

I may not be right, but who cares. Better safe than sorry.

I think shes cheating. This is based on the fact that she did it before. Plain and simple.

In the end, your gut, that sour feeling in your stomach, knows the truth.

I knew my wife was cheating the whole year, but I was in denial so bad. I didnt want to face it. What a horrible horrible year. Dont do that to your self brother.

I should have went with my gut.

We are here for you.

Good luck my friend

BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
Divorced
A over. Defogged. Trying R

posts: 212   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Tampa Florida
id 6627393
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