SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dumb me. I know. But everytime we are in the same room the cops are called or get threatened to be called so I figured this was the path of least resistance.

He was supoosed to be moving out during this time.

I put a lock on my bedroom door. And put things of importance in the bedroom. (Things of super importance went to work or to a friends)

Than I told him if anything was missing that shouldn't be ibwould file a police report.

He just sent me an email saying that "locking the paperwork away was bull and I would get it back when he made copies". Which means he broke into the bedroom.

So do I follow through?

Yep. Follow through. Not sure how the law works, but having a police report on file for later use in the divorce could be helpful. It might even help you get a RO.

The takeaway lesson here is not to broadcast your secrets to him. If you don't want him in your room, don't tell him you've put important papers in there, locked the door, and will call the police if he goes in there.

It's like putting a big neon sign up saying, "Take me!"

I'm NOT saying this is your fault. I'm saying he's shown you who he is, and it's unwise to position yourself to be exploited by him. He is who he is, so you need to anticipate that he will continue to be this way.

What kinds of papers did you hide? Are they things for which he has reasonable claim? Does he have a right to copies?

If so, I would not call the police, except perhaps for the breaking of doors/locks---and to ensure I got the papers back after he'd copied them.

Given his propensity to break and enter, I think I'd change ALL the locks in the house as soon as he was moved out. I'd consider an alarm system, as well.

And I would not use him as a "house sitter" any more.

I didn't tell him anything was in there. Nothing he had claim to was in there.

Just locked the door.

I didn't even say "and whatever you do... don't go in my room" I figured the lock would speak for itself.

When I told him if he took anything I would file a report, it was a general reference to the stuff in the house. Eta: I asked him to discuss any things we got together with me before just taking them.

I knew this was a possibility. He has been testing his boundaries since..well. he decided he could have a girlfriend and a wife. He has already stolen a bunch of paperwork and the rest of important stuff isn't even there.

I just hate that he keeps putting me in a position to follow through on consequences. It is exhausting.

If I don't: I am saying it is okay

If I do: i am calling the police on my husband, again.

[This message edited by littlefoggy at 6:48 PM, December 28th (Saturday)]

If I do: i am calling the police on my husband,bagain.

Correction: you are calling the police on your Soon to be EXhusband.

Yes, it sucks. But you really don't have a choice unless you want this to be how the rest of your life goes. You are teaching him how he can treat you.