I wouldn’t worry too much about the hooker aspect.
Yes she has a past. Yes she had BF that were in a bad place and they enabled her to get into and remain in a bad place. But in the basics I venture the BF/GF relationship was comparable to usual BF/GF pattern. As a rule even drug-pushing BF don’t share their GF.
Pimping is a completely different issue altogether. Pimps sometimes pimp out their GF and/or have sex with the women they are pimping. But this OM sounds like a dealer and not a pimp.
If you have doubts about her past then please clear them ASAP. No matter what your future relationship with her will become then remember that she will always be the mother of your children. You will always have to interact as co-parents. A past as a hooker will NOT make her less capable of being a mother but you always looking and judging her as a possible ex-whore will always impede your ability to have her as a wife or co-parent. IMHO you need to deal with her past and its possible impact on your future together.
I would seriously look at her alcohol use. As I have already mentioned then people that need rehab tend to misuse ALL intoxicants. Maybe coke was her drug of choice, but she seems to have replaced that with alcohol.
Keep in mind that misuse of intoxicants is NOT limited to daily consumption. Your WW could abstain from drinking for weeks but if she consistently crosses a border each time she drinks… well… then she has a drinking problem.
Look – IMHO it’s OK and maybe even necessary for spouses to have social lives outside the marriage. I meet with old college friends, fishing partners and work associates for an occasional dinner, drink or trip. But it’s AGES since I felt a need to go out with old drinking buddies on a regular, tight schedule simply to party and get drunk! Heck – I can’t afford to waste 2-3 days in having “fun”, being hung-over and recovering physically. It’s WAY TOO MUCH TIME taken away from what’s REALLY important for me; namely FAMILY. My wife too sometimes goes out with her friends but for the last 10 years that’s been similar to my agenda: A good time with great friends and home relatively early and relatively sober. That’s what happens with time and age if you aren’t fighting substance abuse.
Your WW insistence on going out for a girl’s night in THIS pattern is yet another reason I hammer on her possible alcoholism.
I’m going to suggest the following:
Make the seriousness of the situation very clear to your wife. Make it clear that there is ONLY one thing that can possibly save the marriage right now and that is the absolute, believable and accountable truth.
Then ask her about her past. Remember – neither of you entered this relationships with a silky clean past so allow her the leeway you might expect.
Ask her about her rehab. What substance? What about alcohol? Does she have a substance abuse problem? What rehab center? Do they say their patients are fine with booze?
Ask her what she’s willing to do regarding the future. Remind her that all recovery programs suggest people move out of the group of friends that enabled substance abuse.