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The OW became a part of mine/WH/my kids' lives as our babysitter. She is now sitting for a family in our area with 3 small children- I don't know the family. She seems to be their nanny, going with them on vacation, posts pics of herself with the kids etc. Do I warn the family (the wife?) about her?

YES, absolutely! Nobody wants a person without morals or good judgement around their husband or kids!

^^^^^I agree to definitely out her. There is no way I would want someone like her around my kids.

Yes.

Have proof with you.

You're protecting another's family, and enjoying a little recompense as well. It's a win-win. Out her, in such humiliating fashion that she'll have no choice but to find a new career.

Stories like this make me happy.

YES absolutely.

I believe that "outing" OW is a justified consequence of her actions, unless she truly did not know that she was involved with a MM.

Damn right I'd tell.... if the family has all the info they can make the decision... but if she is on the prowl and the wife thinks the nanny is too familiar or going to be an issue they will replace her.

Oh hell yes. If I were given proof, I would consider that to be a VERY friendly heads-up putting myself in the wife's shoes. And her ass would be FIRED!

Wait...she is nannying for a family while pregnant with your WH's child and he is living with her? You just can't make this shit up! I would give a friendly warning to the wife. As a mom I would never want anyone like that caring for my kids. I would not give too many details except that she made poor decisions, had a problem with boundaries and took your husband as her own. That would do it. Always like a little rain in unicorn land. Know what happens when all the colors of the rainbow run together...it make the ugliest poop brown.

I would rain on that rainbow for sure.

I would out the OW but I would make sure to have documented (hard copy) proof and stay as close to the facts as possible. Stay as neutral and as calm as possible with engaging in a character assassination. If this result as a termination of her employment, you do not want to be sued for libel or slander by the OW as a result of your actions.

I would also give the wife a copy of the movie "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle." Just kidding.

Wait...she is nannying for a family while pregnant with your WH's child and he is living with her? You just can't make this shit up!

Yes... tell me about it!

The proof I have is not really something I'm willing to show to a woman I don't know... It's not like I think she trolls around babysitting to find men to date (she came highly recommended to me). However I would like the heads up if I was the Mom of this new family.

Thanks to all for being my sounding board for whether I'm just being vindictive or this is legitimately something I should follow through with.

You are not being vindictive. Follow this through. If it was you, would you want to know? I bet you answered YES!!!

Some folks don't take too kindly to women of questionable morals who not only have affairs with married men, but are stupid enough to get knocked up by them and then think that somehow makes them Mother of the Year.

I honestly don't know how ANY woman could tell her kid that it's father is some middle-aged married creep she was sleazing around with. I'd rather eat nails than visit that kind of shame on some innocent kid.

I'm sure this brood mare has painted herself as Mary Poppins to this family. I, personally, think they should be given the information about her so THEY can make an informed choice about whose spending the majority of the day with their kids. I somehow think they'll be LESS than enchanted when they hear.

Do it.

YES, omg.

I am usually much more on the fence than other people are regarding telling the OP spouse, I am not one who thinks you should always tell.

But in this case, hell yes, I think you should tell.

Even if you feel vindictive, out the ow. Even if you enjoy out ing her, out the ow.

No matter how you feel about what you're doing, it's a kindness to the other couple.

Yes, tell them!

And, regarding slander, etc. That is only if the information supplied is untrue. Facts are facts. Fair game.

Hmmm, I wonder if your wxh supplied her background info and recommendation! I'd ask! Just out of curiosity of course….

Yes, dear, please out her. You will be doing the family a service. They should have all the information about a person so close to their children and be able to make an informed decision. They may keep her as they figure she is already pregnant and with your WH, so she won't be on the prowl (?) for a new MM.

As far as slander and libel, puhleeze, the proof is right there in her belly. There is absolutely no slander or libel if stating facts.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 3:50 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]

As far as slander and libel, puhleeze, the proof is right there in her belly. There is absolutely no slander or libel if stating facts.

I agree and that is why I suggested staying close to the facts. I only intended provide a warning. For example, calling her the "world's biggest slut" might cause some trouble as it is more of an opinion but telling the other family that their babysitter had sexual relations with your husband and is now likely pregnant with his child is a provable fact.

Although I would happy provide a second opinion that OW is the "world's biggest slut", but off the record only

Prowoman, Curious of the outcome, if you don't mind me asking?

Yes, I would. I am normally chicken-s when it comes to gossiping, but this isn't gossip. It's related to her morals and ability to do her job.