I fell in love with and married the most amazing man in the world. I didn't think it could be any more perfect. We were soul mates. I knew he needed constant attention, but didn't realize the extent, that is until we married.
Being married to him was a sentence of hell. He is extremely arrogant, always right, belittles, becomes emotionally abusive whenever confronted, blame shifts, gaslights, isolated me from family/ friends, goes into rages, and even became physically abusive the few times I had enough and threatened to leave. After putting up with a year long EA (I truly believe it was more by reading texts, him sneaking to her house, which he promised to end each time I discovered) and multiple women sending him topless photos (he's not sure why
), I kicked him out in October. Each time I discovered, I got the flowers, cards, dinners out, a weekend get a way, him professing his love and I was sucked right back in, feeding his narcissistic supply.
I was able to speak to his exW and discovered he did all of the same to W1 & W2, ultimately leaving each for his AP. He still swore he had never cheated physically, that she was crazy, lying, and trying to hurt us because she still "wanted him." Yes, he believes every woman wants him
He called a couple of weeks later to let me know he had been working on himself, missed me, and that I was the love of his life. I agreed to date him and got sucked right back in, again, feeding his narcissistic supply. A few weeks went by, and the same old pattern. I'd confront him, he went into a psychotic rage, kicked me out of his place, we didn't speak for 2 weeks, he charmed his way back in and repeat. This pattern continued. Things were amazing again in December. He promised counseling, took me on a few weekend getaways, dinners out, treated me like a princess and on Christmas Eve, dumps me, accusing me of cheating for not spending the evening before with him while he was sick! We got into it, I reminded him of everything he had put me through, he turned it around that I'm cheating and he said my expectations of him are too high.
He sent me several horrible texts right before New Years cutting down everything about me, I mean EVERYTHING! I responded by asking him why he has so much anger/hatred and he said it was because I don't have a clue and proceeded to cut me even more. He then asked to leave him alone and said he wants nothing to do with me. I had been. He contacted me.
Saturday night, I received a text from him asking if I am enjoying all of my men and asked what kind of person moves on so quickly. (I haven't even talked to another man) He has done that in the past and I have always responded with "you know better," which turns into us talking, him sucking me back in, and the cycle repeats. I ignored.
Why can't he just admit he has a problem. Why blame me for everything. Why can't he get help. I think that's what hurts the most. He doesn't care how he's hurt me. I've always felt bad for him because I know he was abandoned by a parent as a child. I know I can't respond. I'm getting my ducks in a row to file. A part of me still misses the good times, because the good times were extremely good. Another part of me has hope that he will eventually "get it." Anyone have experience dealing with a narcissist, please share.