SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks everybody

They're too tall and it's your fault?

We've done that already. DS8 is in the 99th percentile for height. He's taller than the 10 yr old, at almost 5ft tall. If hit pants do not JUST brush the floor when he's barefoot, I'm neglectful and I don't care how he looks and I don't use child support for clothes for them, otherwise the tall one would have pants that were't too short.

I had braces, a pizza face and greasy hair when I was 16. And I was an absolute arsehole. Maybe he's right.

This made me laugh. Look, she does look

younger than 40, but sure not 16. AND, even if she does...so? I have eyes, I can see how old she looks. And, really I don't give much thought to the ages of the women he dates, because I don't care.

Verbal abuse, foul language and withholding food are some pretty serious reasons for termination of visitation. I'm sure a family court judge/child legal advocate would love to hear these stories. Toss in his deadbeat status and I think your golden. But you need to get that ball rolling yourself

I'd love to know how to get that ball rolling...I've been to several lawyers recently. They've told me that anything his gf does doesn't matter, they won't do anything about HIS visitation, even if I have a recording of the boys telling me that the gf tried to strangle their puppy, and threatened to throw the puppy off a cliff. I've been told i have no proof of anything the kids tell me he does or says, because that's hearsay. I've been told without proof if I try to do anything, then I'm going to be seen as causing parental alienation, then he has a good case to try to get custody back. As long as the kids have a place to sleep, even two sleeping bags on the floor, and 3 meals a day, (which they get, just not as much as they'd like, or even food they'd like) then they are fine.

Our parenting plan states that only the 'parents' will parent our kids, and any SOs will stay out of it

Ours doesn't state that, but it doesn't matter he ignores it all anyway. I have sole custody. My ex gave our son adult migraine medicine when he had strep throat. I knew our son didn't feel well when he picked them up, but it had just started that morning. When he still didn't feel well when I picked them up, we went to the dr. DS told me about the meds he took. I asked the dr about it, the dr said he was probably ok, but not to do it again. So, I texted the information to X. He went off on me, again telling me how neglectful I was for not taking him to the dr earlier (even though I took him as soon as I got him back. I don't run to the dr for every headache and 99 degree fever.) I said "Look. The dr said don't give him that medicine, I'm saying don't give him that medicine. Stop it." He kept telling me it was his kid and he'd do whatever the hell he wanted, he had every right to decide how to take care of his son. I finally said "No, you don't. I have sole custody of the boys. Which means i make education, religious, and MEDICAL decisions. Don't do it again." he said I didn't, the papers don't say that, etc. So, I copied the papers, highlighted the relevant portions, took a picture and sent it back. Weatherly has sole custody of the two boys. He texted back "That's not what that means." So, I asked what it meant. He said "If you'd learn to read, you'd see section 4D right above that gives me custody as well." I said "There is no section 4D" he said "Well, there should be."

This is what i have to deal with every single time we talk. It doesn't matter what the papers say, he ignores them. It doesn't matter what I or the boys say. It doesn't matter what the judge says. Nobody is going to do anything until the kids get hurt.

And, honestly, they are 8 and 10 and already 5 ft tall...I'll gladly buy them all new wardrobes every 3 months, since I'm the one praying they outgrow him fast. He's a bully. Which means, once they are bigger than him, he'll learn to be nicer. I think once they outgrow him and aren't able to be bullied by him anymore, he'll stop pretending he cares. He'll tell all his girlfriends his kids are out of control because his ex wife let them wear sweat pants, and poor XH is so sad and lonely, he tried so hard to be a good dad, but I've turned the kids against him.

[This message edited by Weatherly at 7:16 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)]

The "good" news is, that now my former in laws are finally realizing things are not ok. Of course, they still think it is all the go's fault, and not his, but, they at least are admitting this is not a healthy environment for the kids, and that he make a lot of poor decisions. (to the point, XMIL has even said she wished Aussie could adopt the boys).

XMIL asked if I minded if she talked to A about this, trying to convince him to have visitation at her house...where the kids have a bedroom and a bed and toys and healthy meals, and a snow mountain in the winter and an inground pool in the summer, and acres to play on, ride their bikes, etc. I practically begged her to try, the kids LOVE visiting grandma and grandpa, and have even said they don't mind X so much at grandma's.

I don't think it will work, but, something needs to be done. And, I know he and gf have broken up a lot lately, so maybe MIL can put enough pressure on him that it finishes destroying the relationship. Although, knowing what I do about my X, he won't leave her until he has another girlfriend lined up he can move right in with.

FTG and the whore he rode in on.

Your kids are adorable. Those smiles just light up their faces.

Good looking kids.

You do know that "land sharks" = "teenage boys". Meaning they will and can eat everything in the house in 30 minutes and still be hungry.

Invest in a couple of freezers.

k9

Yeah, boys that age have not one but two hollow legs as well as hollow arms and midsections. As I said earlier, a few extra pounds is nothing to get his panties in a twist and even *if* they do, just wait a few hours... they'll be gone.

I must say your ex's interpretation of the decree is... creative. Are you *sure* you both got the same one? Because, according to him, yours is missing a section. You know, the one that says he has custody.

Give him crickets every time he says something stupid. If you do, you'll never talk to him again.

What a f--king loser. They are kids ! Not only kids but his kids! If that is him in the picture then he should look in the mirror once in awhile. Stay strong. Vent when you need.

If that is him in the picture then he should look in the mirror once in awhile.

Actually, the man in the picture is my husband, their step dad. My X is the same height and about 50 heavier.

slight t/j but how is Aussie? He and the boys look very happy in that pic. You can just tell they get along great.

And the nerve of your ex saying the boys are fat when he's not exactly underweight himself. Didn't you say he was taking diet pills? Hmmm, maybe because he knows *he* could stand to lose a few pounds? You know you could be nice and warn him that if he keeps taking them he could lose the fat that's masquerading as his brain...

slight t/j but how is Aussie? He and the boys look very happy in that pic. You can just tell they get along great.

Aussie is great, the kids adore him and he them. They do get along amazingly well.

A long time ago they asked me why I didn't have anybody when X had lots of girls. I just explained that I had the best boys in the world, so, I had to find the best man in the world otherwise it just wouldn't work. I couldn't let a crappy man into their lives. Recently the 10 yr old has thanked me for finding the best man in the world.

I'm echoing the useless excuse of a father refrain here.

But your boys are GORGEOUS - and they look so genuinely happy.

FTG.

I just wanted to say how much I love the sweet smiles on all your guys.

Love the picture. They have grown so much since I've seen them!

Oh, I remember the G2G a couple years ago. They were in the pool almost as soon as you got here and spent the entire time there, having an absolute blast!

Glad the boys and Aussie get along so well. That's not always the case with a step-parent.

Sorry

What a pos. That is abusive language and parental alienation. You should add it to the list when you take him back to court for the CS. He should be ashamed of himself, but I'm sure he's not. Poor boys.