On Labor Day, we went to SIL's house for a picnic, we'd never been before, so I popped out the GPS for directions. We live near a weird interstate exchange where 4 highways intersect for a 1/4 mile. The GPS got stupid and said stay on ___ highway. But we should have exited to the other highway. WH went off. He called me stupid, told me I couldn't even do one thing right. Seriously, abusive. I was taken aback... he'd been mean when we fought before, but this was cruel and beyond the pale. And it was in front of our daughters. I actually ended up getting out of the car without my purse at a stop light. I didn't even argue back, I was in such shock at the way he spoke to me. I cried all the way home, and he was there waiting for me, to lay into me some more. And I ended up telling him he was an asshole, and that it was unacceptable for him to talk to me like that, but even worse that he had in front of the girls... he half assed apologized and we ended up going to the picnic.
Now, since dday we talk a lot...
On Saturday, we had big plans... drop the girls off at my mom's, go to lunch, and then a shopping trip to buy some "marital aids", then having the whole house to ourselves... for some good marital hysterical bonding!
Now... 6 months ago this whole day would not have occured. We started the morning talking about the A... he thought it would ruin the day, but I assured him, that if I hadn't brought it up, when I did, it surely would have.. He agreed and we had the discussion. 1) He accompanied me to my moms, which he never did... if he stayed home, he could watch porn and he preferred that. But then, I gave him directions, and we missed a turn... he laughed. and asked me which way to go instead... the second road that led to where we were going was closed... he laughed and asked how to get back to the road we missed.
then... we got stuck in the mud. Still... laughed it off. he wasn't even frustrated! Not like him... He had me get behind the wheel, and cut it, while on the gas while he pushed... "try not to get me muddy1" and
Well... it didn't work... I asked if he had anything in the trunk to put under the wheel he said no... I told him to look just in case (in the old days he'd have stomped off and snapped at how I didn't trust him or thought he was lying... but he just looked in the trunk and emerged with a blanket I had put in the car when we had that cold snap. He ended up getting covered with mud, as did his white car. Not mad. Not one bit. We had the rest of the day. 6 months ago, that experience would have been thermonuclear world war 3. And it wasn't.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"