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Newest Member: FaithGrace

Divorce/Separation :
With strength from this forum....

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 myowndystopia (original poster member #41340) posted at 9:41 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

Thanks NIK. I'm actually going to a BAN meeting tonight. Topic- goal setting. Perfect- I need to set some good goals. Then home to a nice glass of wine.

Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele

posts: 408   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013
id 6653140
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 9:48 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

Yay you!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6653152
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:32 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

You did it!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6653250
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 myowndystopia (original poster member #41340) posted at 4:00 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

Another thing I'd like to add- especially for those in limbo like I was. I know today was just one step of the D process and I'm sure it's going to be hell with constant emotional ups and downs but my feelings are so different than I though they would be! It's like being out of limbo, knowing what direction I am heading has given me balance. Of course there are still plenty of unknowns but the biggest unknown of them all is now known----we are not attempting R, we are D-ing. Sometimes it's the fear of the unknown that weighs so heavily on us.

Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele

posts: 408   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013
id 6653685
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crazynot ( member #24572) posted at 6:45 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2014

Wishing you great strength. This will be hard but it will be a big turning point. My D is nearly final and there's no regret about it any more. We've drawn the process out only because my mum died last year and WH's mum is seriously ill too. I know I come across on SI as someone who's totally 'over' all that's happened, and I am. But the day I had to get our 26-year-old marriage certificate out from the family Bible and take it to my lawyer was a raw day full of tears, believe me.

There's a road ahead with unexpected smiles on it.

Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.

posts: 1463   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2009   ·   location: UK
id 6653771
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