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MUFan (original poster member #38284) posted at 4:48 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014
One year ago today my FWH slept with his AP. It was a one time thing and I know the details. He confessed 2 days later.
Its been a hard year besides the A. I lost my job, then my grandfather, then he lost his job. We spent a month unemployed. Luckily both of us are back to work now. When everything started to look up, our oldest daughter found out about the affair.
Today we communicate better than we have ever. We love each other and demonstrate it daily. I triggered some this morning and probably will through the weekend.
Monday I have to go to the city where he had his ONS for work...not ideal timing and I'm having panic attacks looking up information about places to eat, etc. Luckily not staying at the same hotel.
He's not who he was then. He's a more authentic version of himself. No more hiding his insecurities...no more making himself feel better and important with titles and collecting friends. I truly feel that the kids and I come first. He's kept it up for a year and although he slips sometimes into selfishness, he snaps out of it when I call him on it. He understands that my complaints about our relationship were valid throughout the years and is doing his best to rectify it.
I'm just rambling right now...but I hope it helps those that are new into R. The first months were hell and there maybe more hell to come but when it does, I know I can survive.
Me (35)
fWH (35)- emotional affair that ended after a ONS (1-24-13)
4 kids
"Ah yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."
-The Lion King
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 5:38 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014
Good for you both! Good luck this weekend!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
0115 ( member #31740) posted at 5:48 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014
You've come a long way in a short time. Be very proud of yourselves! Good luck this weekend. Go through it, not around it. Hopefully it won't hurt nearly as bad and maybe next year not at all.
BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 5:50 PM on Friday, January 24th, 2014
Lots of good things in your post MUfan. Here's to better days.
LA
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:18 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014
I hope that you're able to take back that city. I'm so happy for you and for your family!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 2:32 AM on Saturday, January 25th, 2014
HI MUFan,
I remember seeing your first post.....a year goes by quickly....lots of pain in that year, but you are processing and both are growing....I see it in your post.
Way to Go!!!!
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
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