SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We have been divorced since June and I still have dreams about him often maybe weekly . We both have new partners I feel my new guy is wonderful to me . So I should not have these dreams

The subconscious takes a while to catch up. I still have dreams about STBXH. In them, I use him for sex, then bitch him out for 'ruining real life'. Talk about confusing.

Yeah, your brain is just working some things out.

I haven't dreamt of ex-shat in a very, very long time. Until the last 3 night. Ugh.

Processing sucks.

I still dream about xWH almost 3 years post D. They are about every other week now. I still have ones where I see his face so clearly it's eerie. I don't know if they will ever go away. I don't let them stop my real life though. In most of the latest ones he is so done with OWifetress and biding his time to move on, I can feel how much he actually dislikes her. It's weird.

Dream symbols aren't always literal. It could be that your ex is representing something else in your life, rather than the literal man.

I have dreams all the time that XWH is cheating on OW with me.

My latest dream was that she caught him cheating and threw him out. I remember that made me feel so happy in the dream! Then I woke up feeling happy for a few seconds! Until I realized that duh, I just wasted a perfectly good dream on those two assholes!

Another favorite that I had was that XWH cheated on OW with her friend. Now that is one dream I could only wish would come true!

Rarely I'll have dreams about him where it's sort of like DDay. I'm trying to explain to him why what he's doing in crazy, why OW can't possibly be a good person, etc. It's like talking to a brick wall in the dream. He doesn't understand me at all. Keeps telling me that I just don't know OW... but that she's "a good one." I tell him she couldn't possibly be.

Last time I had that dream, he was blameshifting in it and telling me that "for the duration of our M," I failed to speak to him "in a courteous tone."

Okay, that sort of made me laugh when I woke up.

But, yeah... that nightmare more or less squares with what it was like IRL on DDay and after.

The other dream I have is of a giant grizzly bear walking down the street our house was on. I stop the car and it is lumbering toward me and our dog. I try to stay still and wait for a chance to speed out of harm's way. But when the grizzly begins to walk past the passenger side (where the dog is), I realize the window is still rolled down. Just as the bear realizes he can grab us, I wake up.

I have no idea what that means. But, based on some details about our M and past vacations, etc., I know it's about him.

[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 6:10 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]

4.5 years out, WXH still shows up in my dreams. I wouldn't say regularly, but often enough that it's super annoying. It's always the same basic scenario. We're together, but I'm wary because of the history, obviously, and then it always ends with him still being involved with OW.

Because it happens often enough, I do wonder what that recurrent theme means for me. I'm certainly not hung up on him and would never want him back. He repulses me, so I hate being the wishy-washy woman in my dreams who seems to actually want him.

Almost all of the dreams that my ex is in are about abandonment. Very rarely, they're about sex. Both are unpleasant.

In my dreams he is always cheating or online emails or seeking out other woman. I get hurt and question him in my dreams. They are always the same . Women .