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NikkiD ( member #38173) posted at 4:45 PM on Thursday, January 30th, 2014
You gotta stop responding.....I am alot like you..defending and explaining...
You were on point with these responses though:
Me: I will not let your threat to move out make me feel guilty. It was your decision to sleep with other people. No matter what issues we have - and I do take responsibility for my part of our issues - you made the choice time and again to forsake me and all that we have built. I believe I am willing to work toward reconciliation, and I want to believe that you do too, but I will not pretend that what you've done didn't crush me to the depths of my heart and soul. So if I am distant, it's because I have to find a way to regain my sense of self and learn to trust you again. It's not going to happen overnight.
Me: If you want to show me that you are committed to making this work, then I need you to demonstrate that. No more contact with Matt, DJ, David, or anyone else that you have had a physical or emotional affair with. I dont say this to punish you or to control you. But if we're going to move forward, it has to be this way. I will not ever again be the doormat that you return home to. I need to know that I am the priority in your heart, as you have always been in mine.
They are very well articulated without too much feelings......
Believe it or not...you are doing good. Regardless of what happens to any of us, we are responsbile for how we respond...and she isnt owning her shyt yet.
[This message edited by NikkiD at 10:45 AM, January 30th (Thursday)]
"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....
PRNDL ( member #41927) posted at 4:15 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
Hey, I think you were texting my STBXW! Haha! She is just as selfish as your wife.
Leave her bro, or risk living in limbo land forever.
Leave her. She does the "pull push" shit. She baits you then turns it all on you.
Fuck that master manipulator.
BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
Divorced
A over. Defogged. Trying R
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 8:23 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
This is, unfortunately, a classic case of regret that she got caught. There isn't one word of remorse in there for what she did to you. Not one. It seems to me that is really is time for you to go complete NC with her except for finances and animals. And see a lawyer about getting a legal separation lined up. Because if I'm reading her right, at some point, she is going to try to force herself back on you, and you will need a plan of action when that happens. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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