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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Divorce/Separation :
Same old song and dance

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 brokenfyrman (original poster member #31938) posted at 2:57 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014

Well Tuesday will be three weeks since the youngest has had his surgery. He hasn't seen his mother since the day of surgery. He has been sick for two weeks (early signs of pneumonia) she has made ZERO effort for him. I had him message her yesterday about his nasal spray cost and see I she would call insurance to ask, two hours later I messaged her to find out WTF, to which I was pissed because I went almost a whole week without texting her for anything (bills, where's the separation agreement draft and kids only), "I didn't see his text" but you can bet your sweet ass that she was on Facebook between the time he texted and I followed up to talk to her new "workout buddy" about her new found love for the Carolina/Duke rivalry. Her Facebook is nothing but exercise updates, bantering with triathlon buddy and her inspirational "I don't deserve to be punished" quotes. I am so fucking sick of her shit, I see the hurt on his face and I try, god I try to make him positive and let him know I'm here. A friend told me the other day her Facebook is like she is on vacation... She has completely walked away from her kids and responsibilities, but I bet she is going to respond to this with "I'm a good mom".... Yeah a good mom to not be like. She tried to call today and you could hear it in his voice, he had no interest in talking to her, it was painful to listen to. After the call I asked if he wanted me to leave the room when she called an he said no.

That said I am wondering, should I send triathlon workout buddy's wife a message and make her aware of the snake in the grass that is getting buddy buddy with her husband? BTW this is ANOTHER high school "friend" and we know how her boundaries are with these guys... I really don't care but thought I would ask your opinions.

Me BS 42, STBX 40 renamed numero cinco
OM#2 puppylove from HS
EA 10/07 thru 5/08
PA 5/12,13,14 and 7/26 of 08
Admitted to calls/email texts 08/08, TT until D/Day 10/10
OM#1, 9 mos after "I do"
She walked out on me and her kids 1/1/14 (

posts: 314   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2011
id 6678479
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 3:11 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014

Yeah, you should probably let the BW know. Your stbxww is beyond sick. Three weeks and hasn't seen him once?

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6678493
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PhoenixRising88 ( member #35214) posted at 3:25 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014

(((broken & littles))))

Yes, BW should know what's headed her direction..

And I'm so sorry you and your babies are having to go through this... She DOES NOT deserve any of you!!!

Me: BS(45)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(52). D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/13. Divorced 1/10/14.

New chapter of my life- married 11/13/15 to the man I'd thought I would never find.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.

posts: 443   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: North Texas
id 6678505
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 brokenfyrman (original poster member #31938) posted at 4:46 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014

Can't really call triathlon buddy's wife a BS, well I don't know if I can or not, but I feel like she should be aware of what número cinco is capable of and has done in the past

Me BS 42, STBX 40 renamed numero cinco
OM#2 puppylove from HS
EA 10/07 thru 5/08
PA 5/12,13,14 and 7/26 of 08
Admitted to calls/email texts 08/08, TT until D/Day 10/10
OM#1, 9 mos after "I do"
She walked out on me and her kids 1/1/14 (

posts: 314   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2011
id 6678582
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 3:01 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

No matter if she's PA with him or not, she's probably being represented as a loving married woman, so it would probably be a kindness to let the potential BW know.

And I hope that you are documenting, documenting, documenting ALL of this neglect for your lawyer!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6680154
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myowndystopia ( member #41340) posted at 3:19 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

I do not know anything about my STBXWH A partner(s). And if there was a "betrayed" H out there or anyone that could have warned me.... As hard as it would have been I would thank them. Instead- I've had someone lie and cheat on me for 6 years. My vote- send a warning!

Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele

posts: 408   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013
id 6680184
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 brokenfyrman (original poster member #31938) posted at 6:01 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

I sent it today, thanks for the advice

Me BS 42, STBX 40 renamed numero cinco
OM#2 puppylove from HS
EA 10/07 thru 5/08
PA 5/12,13,14 and 7/26 of 08
Admitted to calls/email texts 08/08, TT until D/Day 10/10
OM#1, 9 mos after "I do"
She walked out on me and her kids 1/1/14 (

posts: 314   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2011
id 6680320
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 6:06 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

I am far from the perfect mother but I cannot imagine not keeping up with my child after any sort of surgical procedure. I can't even not bug my kids when they travel, and they are 19 and 21 - I always have to know they arrived okay.

My point is - WTF???

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6680324
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 brokenfyrman (original poster member #31938) posted at 7:47 AM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014

I made a comment to her during one of these sessions where we are fighting about her paying bills..again!! She made some statement that she really missed the boys and it was the hardest thing she had ever done... RIIIGHT!!! Less than 15 minutes from him and she hasn't made any attempt to see him, pick him up, nada...her actions didn't match her words. Anyway I said that she was fuckin up with the boys and that the kids were just trying to protect her feelings by not really telling her how they felt. They were either not talking much or didn't have much/anything to say. I told her the truth of what I had seen and heard. Told her she needed to talk to the kids about it not me. Well I guess she "texted" (just too much to talk on the phone, texting is acceptable) our oldest and he finally was truthful with her and said youngest was pissed that she hadn't made any "real" attempt to see him any during the three weeks after surgery and having a mild case of pneumonia. MIRACULOUSLY she had to see him the next day, had to go to a movie (my mind says that way she doesn't have to talk about anything or answer any questions) three weeks to the day from his surgery. At least he saw his mom, fantasy land vacation from all reality/responsibility finally experienced a little dose of TRUTH!! And that shit hurt. It was great for her dumb ass to have to accept that I was telling the truth unlike her lie every other statement self.

Me BS 42, STBX 40 renamed numero cinco
OM#2 puppylove from HS
EA 10/07 thru 5/08
PA 5/12,13,14 and 7/26 of 08
Admitted to calls/email texts 08/08, TT until D/Day 10/10
OM#1, 9 mos after "I do"
She walked out on me and her kids 1/1/14 (

posts: 314   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2011
id 6683548
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 9:59 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014

I hope one day she wakes and realizes how's she hurting your children. I'm glad they have you to be their rock.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6684465
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 10:24 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014

Damn ... just such shit for your kids to deal with.

Sorry for your boys. Just like girls need their Daddy, boys need their Mommy .. and sounds like she has completely checked out. stupid

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6684502
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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 12:32 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

I'm so sorry for you and the kids.

Please start writing everything down that is going on with kids and her . She's going to cry wolf when it comes time for custody and who pays child support.

What a cold Bitch to ignore her kids when their world is crushed because of her.

Hugs and continue being there for the kids.

If you haven't talked to an attorney, do so asap ! She doesn't get a free ride on OM without consequences of leaving her kids.

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

posts: 20502   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2008   ·   location: Closer to where I want to be..
id 6684677
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