SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We really are in a great place - probably the healthiest relationship either of us has ever had. Just this weekend, we had a dress-up dinner date at a restaurant that we only go to when we don't have the kids. I took a step in opening-up myself to people who aren't family (something I've always sucked at, but worse since dday). When the reality of that struck me and the scared set in, my H came to me and held me and acknowledged that he could tell I was feeling insecure. We watched both a sci-fi movie for him and a romantic comedy for me. We've been sharing excitement in finalizing plans a family getaway this weekend. It's all so simple, but so wonderful.

The last two years fwh has really dropped the ball with my birthday. This year he surprised me by bringing a cake home with candles and him and dd sang happy birthday to me which is something fwh doesn't do...ever. Singing is way outside his comfort zone.

We got our Retrouvaille letter in the mail on Friday and my fWW said, "she is getting excited" and "she can't wait to see how much stronger our marriage will be."

Made me very happy.

We also had a date night a little over week ago. We have always done V.Day early.. That day is such a mad house to go out to eat.

[This message edited by spond at 3:51 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

Spouse asked me out of a date last Friday night. By the time I got home from work he had reservations at our favorite Bistro and had 4 bottles of wine out auditioning to join us for the evening. He'd looked them all up to get their wine score. He had movie times all worked out and music playing the bedroom while I changed.

I realized the next day how much fun we had and how things are just so easy between us. Not always! lol But after things went from bad to better to really good, there were still times when our happiness was bittersweet. There's nothing bitter any more. It's all just sweet.

This site has sparked some good but tough conversation. WH is going to get back into IC. We've come a good distance so far but have a long way to go still. I'm feeling more positive that we are going to get there.

Thanks for starting this thread bg! Lots of us Year2 folks here and maybe that's why things have seemed down! Haha

I booked our fav sitter - said to her "whenever you can sit this month let me know and we will plan around you. I am a planner so not having plans but a sitter booked was a departure for me and it worked out well. First, he was so happy I took intitiative bc his work has been stressful lately. Second, it was much needed time away from our "delights".

We decided to drive one hour out to a great Thai place. We live in a small town w other small towns around us so our choices are limited. At first I thought, "what are we doing driving one hour to eat?!". But it was more then that. And... turns out we had some things to talk about! Lol

He shared w me some thoughts on lying as we had just watched a Ted talk about it. I shared w him thoughts from a WS post I recently saw

And the sitter is booked for next week!

I have been sick lately and he has stepped up with comforting, taking on some of the household chores, etc. Is he perfect about it. Nope, comforting someone is not a strong suit of his but he tried and kept trying. I give him props for that and of course the house stuff I couldn't do while sick.

HI Bionicgal,

Havent read the responses to your post...but I get what you are saying. Much has to do with weather....cold and gray winter here.

Keep the faith and commit fully to your upcoming Retrouvaille weekend....this will be a great experience for you both!

God be with us all.

Still waiting to see how my H responds, but I’ve been more assertive when it comes to discussing specific things needed to heal & improve our marriage.

In the past, H would instantly put a wall up when certain topics were brought up, we are now talking about them.

H has been more aware of my need for physical touch & checks in regularly from work.

This morning with wife had a lovely card and a box of my favorite candy, (that our kids always steal from me )

In addition to fWH telling his mother that no, he didn't need her to save or send pictures of his ex-girlfriends (and telling me this), we were out for a walk last night and holding hands and he said, "I like this. It's kind of like we're dating again."

I really loved hearing everyone's positives. Sometimes the tone on these boards can be depressing. It makes me think my chances of really getting through this are SO small.

My WH and I don't normally do anything for Vday. We always used to say, we showed our love for each other every day, so no need. (now that makes me a little nauseous)Anyway, he asked me to go out with him for Vday a couple weeks ago, and has been researching and planning like crazy to find something new, and something I like, even if he doesn't. I told him I don't care about WHAT we do, I want it to be about WHY we do it, but he is still frantically trying to plan something.

Last week he sent me an ecard that was a picture montage to Chicago's, "It's Hard For Me To Say I'm Sorry". Told me the lyrics were so appropriate. If you know the song, you know why I cried when I got it.

Nice thread, bg, thanks!

We have been celebrating Valentine's since the first of the month in big and small ways. Last night, to celebrate the start of Valentine's week, after I got home late from a 12 hour shift, scarfed dinner and then thought we would just veg out in front of the Olympics my H had other plans. He asked if I wanted to take a candlelit bath together, which I never turn down. But he seemed a bit hurried to get out. I complied, but was wondering. Turns out he wanted to "rock my world", in his very special ways. It turned an average Monday night into something special.

He has never been this thoughtful, romantic man before and it is so rewarding.

There have been quite few lately. The last one was us working on a project together and a woman was watching us work and she said to us and other people who were standing close by -- "You two work so well together. It's great to see how you interact and work cooperatively together."

My husband looked at me and said -- "Yes We Do!" with a big grin on his face from ear to ear. And then he gave me a big hug and kiss and didn't care that other people were standing there and watching us then we got back to work. When we were finished he thanked me for my help and effort.