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LivinginLimbo (original poster member #35004) posted at 9:31 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Today marks two years since I learned that my life was smoke and mirrors. Some days it feels like its been an instant while on others it's as if an eternity has passed.
My FWH has been working hard to fix what he shattered. I do see a marked difference yet there's always that hesitation to fully trust again.
Recently, I noticed that it's not the first thing that I think of when I awake. I know that's a good thing yet, on some level, I'm afraid to let it go. Again, it gets back to trust and the fear of being betrayed again.
As the name of this website states, I'm surviving infidelity. There are so many of you have helped in this painful journey. I wish to thank you. No matter how it ends up for each of us, it's comforting to have a place to turn to for the support of those who have "been there, done that." You're the best!! 
BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years
D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:03 AM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014
I'm so happy to hear R and your healing are going well. Thank you for a wonderful update!! 
strongerbytheday ( new member #38347) posted at 3:15 AM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014
I just wanted to post to say that I understand how you are feeling. I am very much in the same place. Marriage is better and thoughts of the affair do not consume me 24/7 like they used to, but I am afraid to let my guard down for fear that it will all far apart again. I still get angry, but i no longer feel the need to tell him about it any more...I don't need to make him feel my pain too because I know he has his own. I hope to be able to move past this spot. To not always hold my breath waiting for the floor to drop out from under my feet again. I hope that one day I will feel safe again. I think I will. And if not, I will be stronger despite it all. This site has helped me greatly in not feeling alone (and sometimes crazy!). Thank you everyone.
Me: BW
EA/PA 4-5m?
DD 9/11
LivinginLimbo (original poster member #35004) posted at 12:28 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014
Thank you.
Strongerbytheday, we had MC last night and I talked about my fear of letting go. Our counselor said it's okay and that it most likely will always be there on some level. She went on to say that my FWH has to be willing to talk about it whenever I need to whether it's tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. It made me feel better.
BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years
D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.
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