SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was one of the first groups of people to use Facebook in 2004. Back then it was limited to college students and I remember signing the petition to have our university added to the list of eligible users.

It was nowhere near what it is now. I don't even get half the functions anymore. I simply check it maybe 10mn per day and call it good and have been doing so for nearly 10 years.

I personally don't care for how intrusive social media has gotten over the years and enjoyed FB way more back in the early days. Now I just use it to talk to family and friends. My feeling is that users are getting carried away at how much access is out there. I don't give a damn yet others are thrilled. When my mom started using FB a few years ago I got annoyed about how she'd go on about how she could look up people.

If you've got poor boundaries FB doesn't help. It's not an excuse but it's another avenue. Both DH and I were cheated on by XWSOs who didn't use the Internet. House phones and non-smart phones were their mode. Note I was in college in 2004? Even 20-something cheaters can be low tech.

marriedow found out wh was living closer to her through mutual friends. she checked in with him initially through Facebook. she got him ready for the A via email. i don't know exactly what i mean by that, but i saw all their emails from before the A, and she slowly walked over or danced around boundaries via email. then she engineered their initial meetings via emails and electronic communication. And eventually they sustained the A through blackberry messenger.

She found out we had moved close to her through their friend network. But without the internet to start the slide down the slope, I don't think things would have moved that way. or at least not quickly. I think confronted by her over the phone initially, would have put up too many red flags. but maybe i give wh too much credit.

I'm just not convinced that making it easier makes it more common. It could just shorten the cycle from idea to thought to plan to execution, or the number or choice of partners.

I think the technology just makes it easier and quicker. In our situation without it, I don't think this marriedow would have had an A with my wh. Not to say he wouldn't have walked down that road, but without her substantial efforts, their paths simply wouldn't have crossed. and her efforts were facilitated by the technology and the nature and norms of that technology allowing easy connection. Phone calls or letters would have seemed inappropriate in a different way than the ease of electronic communication.