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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:55 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014
I'm praying specific prayers for you.
A prayer for clarity. May you clearly see that which impedes you on your journey of healing, so that you can take direct aim and action.
A prayer for self-knowledge. May you see yourself, all of the ages and self's that encompass the physical you, and may you deal with each of those self's with compassion and courage.
A prayer for strength. May you always have a reminder, when you falter and when you get tired, that you never walk alone.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
iwillNOT ( member #40605) posted at 5:24 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014
I am at a point where I am trying to tease apart the abandonment and hurt I felt as a 12 year old boy and that which I feel from my wife's betrayal.
This is exactly what I am struggling with as well.
My father didn't leave me physically, but he was gone nevertheless. He was an emotionally abusive, selfish, extreme cheater. He still is, and because of my husbands affair, so many old wounds have begun bleeding again.
Seems like I have been trying to escape this pain my entire life, and I have never been successful. Lately, I have had the thought that my WH 's affair might be the catalyst that allows me to release myself from this old pain, to let go, to move on. Those are shackles I have worn my entire life, and it would be wonderful beyond description if I could cast them aside and be free.
It would be - freedom. Healing. A blessed new day.
Blakesteele, I pray these things will manifest in your life, and in mine..
Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 2:56 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014
A day late but a prayer said for you as I look out my window at a pretty world made better with you in it.
((blakesteele))
ps: beautiful words by so many on this post - Skan's prayer brought tears to my eyes. You are so very much cared for on SI blakesteele but I know you already know this.
[This message edited by LA44 at 8:57 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)]
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
ptsdrecon ( member #36031) posted at 3:13 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014
My brother...
I have often thought that our stories are quite similar.
I pray for you for sure. Specific prayers for peace and strength today.
Remember when you FEEL as though God is far away, his PROMISE is to be with us always. You are so much like I am in so many ways. As I know you believe the Bible to be fact, base your thoughts on fact. Feelings are a response to things that happen. Sometimes we create our own negative thoughts and these become "events" that create "feelings" that we choose to respond to.
I struggle with not believing my wife cares because she is not reading and "putting the work in." She is just different. I am analytical. She is not. I "face" pain. She avoids. I am open. She is defensive. All based on perspective. My perspective. Hers is a different perspective.
God love you man. His strength is far greater than ours. Rely on it.
Me BH (48)
Her FWW (39 + 1/2)
Married 12+
2 Angels 8 10
D-Day Feb 1 2012
6 month EA PA
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