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PhantomLimb ( member #39668) posted at 2:55 AM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
It would have been nice if he had thought more deeply about, oh, I don't know, YOUR WEDDING VOWS!?!?
Amen to that!
newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 3:51 AM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
My eyes glazed over with boredom before I finished the first paragraph. What an arrogant asshole. Can I punch his teeth out?
BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13
Harriet ( member #34543) posted at 4:42 AM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
How insufferable. You have to find the humor in it or the pretension makes you go mad.
I vote for the "K" - I laughed pretty loud. And then send an exact duplicate of his message next time he needs to make a change.
You just have to, Please?!?!
D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12
jackie89 ( member #38271) posted at 12:51 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
I agree he is setting you up.
But Oh my God this was hilarious! Did you respond?
"K" would of totally pissed him off!
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 1:08 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
Ok. I have to admit, that I will most likely be communicating with my WH in a formal manner such as this on BIG issues...not "can you switch weekends?".
HOWEVER, I will sure as hell edit it better than that so it doesn't sound like I'm using words I don't even know the meaning of or how to use them in appropriate context.
I agree that he is creating a record for the courts. As fun as some of the previous responses would be (my favorite being "k"!), keep that In mind when you reply. Kwim?
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 2:43 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
This thread got me thinking (and laughing). I think we all can agree he's trying to create some sort of document to benefit himself in front of a judge. HOWEVER, when I first met with my attorney I told her what facts I had and was it enough to prove infidelity in my state. She said the judges have seen it all and no one is fooling them. So I started thinking, if a judge or other "decider" is presented with this fuckery, they are going to know that people who were married for years and produced two children don't talk like this unless they have a motive. So yes be careful, but I think he really makes himself look stupid and a judge is going to see through that. Just saying. I hope you had fun last night and got all this off your mind for awhile 
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 3:09 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
I think he really makes himself look stupid
For sure. It's horribly written. My 19 year old would edit the crap out of that.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
sleepless34 (original poster member #40274) posted at 5:22 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
Oh My, thank you for all your funny and helpful responses.
YES, he is totally trying to create some record of all this via email. Has been for six months now. Early on, I asked my L if I need to try and correct his alternate story line with my own email record...and she said that no judge is going to sit there and read 6 months worth of these crapass emails. Has anyone had that kind of SHIT actually used against them effectively??
SOmetimes I get emails that even show where someone, like his douchy L or his skanky whore OW, else editted them for him...where the text is different font or size. I laugh that he is spending so much of his time and energy on these ridiculous emails that a 12 year old could see through.... and that it is probably really pissing him off that I just don't give a flying F**K and am not the least bit intimadated.
I usually just don't respond at all. I figure that pisses him off the most. I see his little game and it is so transparent it is not worth responding to.
So far, I haven't said anything...but there are some really good options you all posted here for me to choose from!!!
Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...
sleepless34 (original poster member #40274) posted at 5:30 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
ANd if you liked the first Mr. Integrity note...here is another one of his. THis was in response to me finding out that he had some lady (who is a friend of his OW I later found out) watching one of our kids. I sent a note saying good co-parenting practice includes letting the other know who is taking care of the kids, name, address, phone number in case of emergency. I also said you need to let me know if your taking them out of town, because he did that before and didn't tell me. This one was so dumb, I did not even respond to this..
Dear Sleepless-
Thank you for the note. Yes, I agree. We will need to come to a mutual agreement on co-parenting practice that will ultimately evolve into a legal parenting plan agreement. I would very much appreciate the opportunity to have a good, open and transparent co-parenting relationship where neither party is seeking to undermine the good, connected parenting time the other is having with the girls. I have also been aware during your allotted time that you have had the girls under the care of 3rd parties that I have no relationship with. During this occurrences, it was not communicated to me that this was taking place as I felt you were using your best judgement.
DD was at a Christian wedding ceremony setting up for the event with a play date I had arranged during my time. DD was under the care of a trusted friend with nearly 3 decades of experience in childhood education and child psychology. In the future, if the girls are not under my direct supervision, I'm happy to share that information of where the girls are and who with as long as you agree to do the same; which has not been your practice to-date.
The agreement made during the early December session with Therapist was that I would not introduce the children to any romantic partner until I felt the time was appropriate. That time is not today. After meeting with you the day before, Therapist made the suggestion in our joint appointment of "not meeting a romantic partner til one year after divorce." I did not agree to that suggestion and said, "I do not know when, but I will introduce the girls to a romantic partner when I feel it is appropriate. At this time, I had shared the attached discussion guide for parenting time. You dismissed the document and erupted during that joint session and said to therapist, "YOU SEE! He won't agree to it." That statement was a strong suggestion that you had built a narrative in your individual session with therapist just prior to the joint session. Therapist further asked, "When will you introduce a romantic partner." I replied, "As I said, I do not know. Maybe after divorce. My answer is the same. Whenever the time is that I feel is an appropriate time for DD1 and DD2, and what is more important right now is that we discuss and agree to the structure of a parenting plan that is in the best interest of the children.
What is more important to me right now is we discuss, progress, and agree to a graduated schedule that leads towards equal parenting time.
You were frustrated that we were discussing parenting time and indicated that you have "five nuclear missiles that will destroy me." At this point, the session completely broke down leading to your suggestion that you have information that would threaten my livelihood; and thus, my ability to provide for the children.
I did not take the children out-of-town this past weekend. Of course I will share information of our whereabouts if I am taking the girls out-of-town. My contact information is always my mobile phone. It also operates as my work and home phone so that I can limit duplicate expenses. When you went to the other weekend that I had the girls, you did not communicate any means of communication beyond your mobile phone. I think that is appropriate for those occasions when one parent does not have the children, and I will act in kind.
Also, I still have not heard back from you concerning the need for us to see a private mediator to discuss division of assets. As we agreed in the last joint therapy session, you were going to communicate a list of names of potential mediators. I have shared since September our need to see a mediator, and most recently provided a list of names in January. The current financial model is unsustainable, so please kindly provide a list of names by the end of this week, and we can coordinate a mutually agreeable time to visit with them ASAP.
Thank you,
Mr. Integrity
Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...
Iamhappytoday ( member #39051) posted at 5:46 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
He makes my brain hurt. I hope you aren't sore from all the face-palming.
[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 11:47 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 6:17 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 7:40 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
SOmetimes I get emails that even show where someone, like his douchy L or his skanky whore OW, else editted them for him...where the text is different font or size.
so that I can limit duplicate expenses
but he will never be able to limit his duplicate douchiness 
If you actually read the stuff he writes he always agrees and claims he will do what sleep requested, but he never does. It's like the written version of a square dance.
sleepless34 (original poster member #40274) posted at 10:21 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
He also starting using the word "aperature" alot in the beginning of our separation. As in..."my aperature is completely open to discuss any of your ideas." My friend said, "all I can imagine is a big butt hole when I hear the word aperature." I said, "yup, that is him." He used it in several emails and then when he used it at divorce therapy one day, I busted out laughing..."OH, your APERATURE is open? stop saying that word. It is really, really stupid."
It must be some word he picked up from his pretentious pseudo intellectual, higher level of conciousness, you don't own anyone's sexuality, we aspire to greatness and have infinite potential BAT SHIT CRAZY open marriage flakey ass whore OW. Yes, this bitches aperature is always open I am sure....
Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...
FirstLoveGone ( member #25957) posted at 10:40 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
Oh my god, my fucking head hurts now. This shit sounds exactly like what my douche of an X would write as well. I ask simple Qs and get back a novel (a badly written one) in return.
I either do not respond or email back with "ok."
What a pompous shithead!
shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 10:53 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
I felt nauseated reading that.
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 11:13 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
Good golly miss molly ~ I have a headache from reading that bullshit. Ugh. Man, I hope you have a sense of humor because if not, that will drive you ape shit.
I have an even better response than ok. It's "kk" or "k". My DS15 will respond to me in text like that and it used to drive me crazy!! I used to think "YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH THE O BEFORE THE K TO TELL ME 'OK'???"
BTW, he won't be able to keep up with these type of responses. 
His brain WILL explode. Idiot.
osxgirl ( member #8795) posted at 11:45 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014
I'm friends with one of my high school English teachers on FB. All I can think is that if it were me, I would forward one of those notes to her to grade and correct. She was notoriously tough, and the results would be fracking hilarious.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 3:02 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
Couldn't even make it through that last one.
Holy man! (As my 99yr old gramma would say!)
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 6:54 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
Oh wow! I agree he is trying to sound super reasonable and intelligent so he can set you up. He's a douche but if the judge skims it and he is making a case of some kind it seems like it could work. Be careful. I would probably play the game and send ass-covering emails as well but I guess your lawyer knows best. Hugs!
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 7:01 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
My red pencil hand is twitching! Verbosity doesn't even come close .... verbal diarrhea...sheesh
Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.
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