Sorry, pp, I see it differently.
Your WS isn't coming clean. Instead, she's making demands on you for support, but she gave up the right to that support by cheating (not once but at least twice). She's using her 'needs' as a way of avoiding meeting yours.
Worse, one of the best ways of rebuilding trust and healthy bonds is to answer questions about the A. There's at least some evidence that the more the WS satisfies the BS's desire for info, the better R is. Your WS is simply not taking the opportunity that is presented to her.
Further, and worse than that, the best thing she can do for herself and for you is to own her own shit - acknowledge what she's done, accept responsibility, etc. That's the first step in her healing. That's her major need right now, as an individual and as your partner. And that's exactly what she's avoiding.
That's not remorse in any way that I can see.
Ordinarily, I'd say that you know better than I do, because you know so much more of your actual situation. In this case, though, IMO, the odds are pretty high that you're making excuses for yourself and your WS.
In the end, of course, you do know your sitch better than I do, and you have to make your own choices about what advice to take. Whatever you decide, I hope the outcome is what you want - but I hope you consider the possibility that what I've said above is an accurate reading of where you are.
After all, if satisfying your desire for information is really the best thing for her, for you, and for your M, not forcing the issue will do damage to her, to you, and to your M.