SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have no words except that I am sorry that you had to look at that video. Really sorry.

I found a pic of Mr. Happy and his ho-worker post fuck...the worst day of my life!

And like you, I found it on HIS phone, why would he save something like that...

I hope that you are doing a little better with some support from the SI Menz. They are a great group of guys.

Take care friendincrisis.

I think accusing you of cheating is typical unremorseful wayward behavior. My STBX accused me as well. It's a blame shift, trying to justify her actions. I'm not sure how long ago D-day was for you, maybe she's just in shock from being caught, but if she has any hope for reconciling, she needs to stop with the bullshit immediately and own up to the CHOICES she made. It wasn't some "oops," and she doesn't get to justify it with any excuses about you or the marriage. She made a choice to do those things, to lie to you and manipulate you, and she can't put that on anyone else or anything else except herself..

I know it's hard, but try to be strong and take care of yourself. It's back to basics right now. Eat and sleep and get some exercise.

Hugs..

My WH has a video library of his exploits and his enjoyment of pics on his phone - yes I have seen the first few seconds of the vids he made and received. And I at them.

No but I think if I actually saw it in person (my situation happened out of state) it would be a deal breaker I can imagine visual is 10 times worse than hearing about it...totally doesn't make sense does it!

Hello friendincrisis,

I discovered my partner's cheating by finding movies of him having sex with OW on his computer desktop.

I was completely traumatised. It was about 6 months ago.

I can completely empathise with how you are feeling right now.

Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, we went for a drive to the ocean the day after because I couldn't bear to be in bed any longer sobbing. I can remember, as we sat near the sea, all I could imagine was wishing for a massive tsunami to come and swallow my partner whole. I told him this. He understood.

It was a dark time.

My partner has, in the past six months made a complete turnaround and has "done the work" to regain my trust and prove himself to be worthy.

I'm still consumed with rage occasionally, but I can honestly say, it does get better. Six months out, I feel almost normal and I can honestly say that our relationship is stronger than it ever was.

Of course, I still haven't regained trust completely and I don't know what the future holds, but it does get better.

Sending you strength in what has probably been the worst time of your life.

Thank you all

I am trying to make sense of it all

I Love Her witha ll my heart and soul before her no one really meant anything serious to me I am so in tune with her that I can't be around her without being aroused she is my everything and until this I thought I was hers can't get the videos and what transpired on them out of my mind

Jan.24 2014 is definately the worst day of my life

I need this outlet so I appreciate all of your support

My family is about 400 miles away and I don't want to tell them because it wouldn't be pretty and there would be no hope for us at all if they knew I come from a large family and they wouldn't let it go if we visited all my brothers and sisters are nosey which is the biggest reason i moved away I like to keep tomyself and I know none of you know who I am so that makes it easier to confide in you all so this really does help I feel somewhat better already and hope to make progress as far as me mand my wife it may get better it may not but one thing I can tell you is from now on I will not let my feelings just eat me up she will know when I have a problem I asked her today if she was having sex or masterbating because when I got home I could smell her and she said she didn't but she was very turned on so maybe that could be the cause of it she had cleaned the house and she was here with my daughter all day so who knows but I won't be a patsy thats for sure

Is anyone else fom the midwest

Me. From your state.

Sweet nice to meet you I was beginning to think I was the only one

[This message edited by friendincrisis at 5:20 PM, March 9th (Sunday)]

Friend...good Lord, I cannot imagine how you must feel. I have no advice. Just wanted to welcome you. I'm so sorry, no one should have to have those images burnt in their brain. That's a tough situation your in as you know. Just keep.posting as much as you need, for support, or just to vent. Peace to you.

((Hugs))

I'm so sorry. Mind movies of the crap they describe to each other in text's is bad enough. I can't imagine if I actually saw it.

Truly awful. I'm sorry you experienced it. Definitely lock it away in case you need it in the future.

(((friendincrisis)))

I can't even imagine that kind of devastation. I am so sorry.

I saw a video of a "chat" where my ex was masturbating for his OW. It was disgusting.

After I got over the shock (close to a year, seriously) It helped me move on. I knew I would never ever be able to love him again in any romantic sense. The thought of that video, and the planning that went on between them to set those chats up makes me laugh now. They were truly pathetic.

No thanks, I'll go find myself a grown up to spend the rest of my life with.

Don't rush into any decisions right now. "I don't know" is a perfectly reasonable answer to any question.

I'm so sorry you're going through this!

(((((friendincrisis)))))

friendincrisis,

i'm sorry to welcome you to the club.

Has anyone used spokeo does it work

I would like to see her texts

Recently

Yep! To add insult to injury, she was wearing lingerie/outfits that she made me buy several years prior but refused to wear them for me.

For me, I'm kinda glad since I could see minute man, basement dweller that is hung like a gnat in his full glory. Pure comedy with a big boost in self-esteem for me to boot... really put things into perspective.

I have decide to start packing my things

My wife doesn't understand why I'm leaving

But I don't understand why she thinks it's ok to still have contact with him

Thank you to everyone in here don't knoe if I'll be back I need alot of time to process

I am so sorry that you have been put in this position. I know that you are devastated by what she has done. PLEASE do NOT stop reaching out to the people here on SI; it real does provide support that one cannot get anywhere else. We are all here for you. In addition, please look for a good counselor to help you process what has been done to you. someone who has experience with infidelity since it a unique trauma. (((HUGS)))

FTS. Pack her bags. If she won't stop contacting him then she can leave. You stay put.

I agree with Up in the Air.

It should be her who packs her cloths.