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Newest Member: 321maison

Divorce/Separation :
Threatening Custody. help.

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Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 8:14 PM on Monday, March 24th, 2014

A couple of people have said a judge won't grant week on & off with a school aged child.

That's not true.

That's what I have.

We have 50/50 with Stepson - but we only got that because we were willing to drive him to the school bus every school day and pick him up afterwards.

Your Xh is an hour away - that just will not work on a day to day basis to get your son to school and back.

Now, if he moves closer / within the school district, then that would put him in a better position to get the 50/50.

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6734407
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Cally60 ( member #23437) posted at 5:08 AM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

He's saying this to scare you into helping him with the house.

Yes. He's obviously short of cash. And in CS arrears, too. Fathers sometimes threaten a fight over custody in order to scare mothers into accepting less child support than would be their due, or even into abandoning the attempt to get it.

[This message edited by Cally60 at 11:08 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]

posts: 2478   ·   registered: Mar. 30th, 2009   ·   location: California
id 6742049
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 MichelleRenee (original poster member #38880) posted at 7:07 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Yesterday & today have been emotionally exhausting. He's given up trying to get me to co-sign mortgage help for the house. His new thing is having his lawyer send me an "offer" of $200/month c/s and no spousal. Mind you he's ordered to pay $300 spousal and $577 c/s. He's horribly behind on payments. Unfortunately since he never signed the divorce papers he's now obviously refusing to sign until he gets his way. It looks like we're headed to court because $200 TOTAL a month is like a slap in the face. He is actually saying that I'M not playing fair by not accepting his $200 and that if we have to go to court then let's go. I am ignoring his texts and just going through my lawyer. But my anxiety is through the roof!

Me - 37
lying cheating a-hole - 36
kids - 17,12,10
D-day 3/25/2013
Filed for divorce 3/26/2013

posts: 66   ·   registered: Apr. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Chatsworth, Ca
id 6744106
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 7:12 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Mind you he's ordered to pay $300 spousal and $577 c/s.

If he's already been ordered to pay those amounts, if he isn't doing so, he is in contempt.

He can try to change the final decree since it isn't signed yet, but until there's a new order in place, he owes you that money.

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6744115
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:12 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

He's playing chicken with you, honey. He is trying to scare you into accepting what he wants. Don't waver - if you have to go to trial, do it. It's worth the fight.

Sending you strength and comfort, hon. ((((MR))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6744116
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sparklezombie ( member #40095) posted at 8:34 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Typically, once a custody schedule is set, a judge will only change if the parent wanting the change can show that it's in the best interest of the child. so work on it from that standpoint and determine why it would NOT be best for your child, i.e disruptive to your schooling, disruptive of his friends/sports schedule, etc. Don't be afraid to get a psychologist involved on your side to give an evaluation or testify on your behalf.

BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

posts: 253   ·   registered: Jul. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
id 6744233
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 8:52 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

MR.

If he said the sky is orange-would you believe him?

The sky isn't orange it's blue. Just because he says something -doesn't mean it's true. Let him threaten all he wants via text or email just do not talk to him. When he starts on CS or visitation or anything else that should be handled by your attorney.... Tell him " I've got to go" and hang up! If he's calling you names or yelling-hang up!

If you need permission I'll give it! You deserve to be treated better.

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6744258
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