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hopefulmother ( member #38790) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
You sound like you know the answer already. There is nothing wrong with throwing in the towel. You gave it everything and still you know he is lying and you will never be truly trusting and joyful in this relationship. Be proud of your grace and mercy. I am sure you are scared....but what is more important?
Do you feel guilty if you gave in to yourself and your moral values? Don't! It is what makes you a good and faithful person.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
longnightmare (original poster member #42656) posted at 5:40 PM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
I feel like I'm going to throw up right now... after our first MC session last night and him confessing that he HAS been lying about some things involving the A, but insisting that he's being honest NOW (still claims no sex), I found myself playing detective again thismorning. I found OWs twitter page, have never seen that before. I SHOULD'VE thought of twitter before, because after WH left me he started using it too. I'm not on it or have ever used it, which I guess is why I didn't think to go through her twitter posts for information 
Found posts she made about WH from 3 months before he says he met her... and found a picture she shared on instagram of her bed with a picture of a man laying in her bed holding onto the railing suggestively but didn't have his face in the picture. I KNOW it was WH's arm in that picture, I've been looking at him for 8 years, I know that was him! And who the hell else would it be, was OW (who he claims was a nice good girl 
) having a bunch of different guys in her bed who looked like my WH at that time? And i know now why he loves the show big bang theory, he suddenly had a big interest in it when we got back together so we watch it together. Its OWs favorite f***ing show... Omg i feel so sick, of course i knew he was still lying, but now its like it's being rubbed in my face again and I'm the fool who let it happen 
[This message edited by longnightmare at 11:43 AM, March 25th (Tuesday)]
Deanna ( member #26854) posted at 5:50 PM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
I am so sorry you are finding out all this info. Keep posting so we can support you. The WS's don't realize how much damage they do with TT.
DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal
selfrespect911 ( member #42746) posted at 6:07 PM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
OOPS I responded before seeing all the replies! Ignore me haha
IGNORE: Why don't you tell him you would like to go to Marriage Counselling for a few sessions? Suggest it's short-term and say you need his help and a mediators help in working through rebuilding your trust, and that you have a lot of unanswered questions and concerns that you want handled constructively. If you tell him that YOU need it then I can't see why he would argue against it. Then you can use the space of MC to help him understand all of your hang ups and hopefully he'll stop hiding from or avoiding the realities of your triggers and emotions.
I just want to sympathise with you -- Twitter is how I discovered the full truth of my WH's A. He had a secret twitter account since December that he used to flirt with her on. I moved into his parent's at the beginning of February (when he admitted to EA and being 'in love), but didn't discover his secret Twitter until Feb 23 which happened to be a week and a half after they turned their EA physical!! I was sick. Still am. Photos of her lying on MY couch with MY cat and MY husband!
I still read her Twitter account. It's pathetic. She's left her husband and just used mine as an ego boost because she doesn't know how to be alone. It's almost funny watching her self-destruct on Twitter day after day, whining about being 'mistreated' by MY HUSBAND. So... so... delusional.
[This message edited by selfrespect911 at 12:12 PM, March 25th (Tuesday)]
BS 26
WH 32
Nov-?? A with his Ex
EA DDay: 31 Jan, I moved to in-laws
PA DDAY: 23 Feb
DDay 3: 13 May. Back in A.
9 Mar: I moved back. A went underground.
9 Apr: He moved into parents.
14 Apr: Me NC with WH.
craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 6:14 PM on Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
went out to a bar with her and they had a totally drunken kiss
Ask him where they kissed.
Start thinking logically and using your common sense and ask those type of questions.
My fWW really tried to downplay the sex part to the point there was no common sense left at all. She made the affair sound like something from a ridiculous comedy. Until I started asking more logical questions.
Ask your husband, where did he sleep when at the OW...in the same bed. Well of course there was sex.
You could just ask your H to take a polygraph, with just a few simple yes or no type questions. See his reaction.
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