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Finally rec'd the MSA proposal from STBXH's lawyer. Either he didn't listen to STBXH, or STBXH has changed his mind on our verbal agreements. I'm leaning towards the "STBXH's lawyer uses stock proposals to start negotiations from" theory.

First of all, it says "Husband and Wife are each Gainfully employed." Oh hell no. My last part-time job was 9 years ago, and my last full-time job was 12 years ago.

Secondly, it asks me to waive maintenance. Another hell no. We've been married 18 years. I've been a SAHM for 12 years. The first three years of our marriage, I worked while STBXH finished his Bachelor's Degree.

Thirdly, there's a clause waiving the right to discovery. Not likely.

Lastly, there is no mention of who gets to claim the kids on Income Taxes. I happen to know that if the MSA does not address it, then we have to go by the IRS's rules. Guess what? That means my parents get to claim the kids! (We're living with my folks who will pay more in housing, board, and clothing for my kids than STBXH will in CS.) What an idiot.

So here are some possible counter offers

1. I want 15% rehabilitative allimony to be revisited in 3-5 years. Or 50% unallocated support (CS is 32% of that, but STBXH would be able to deduct it all on his taxes, and would probably get the Kids for taxes too.) This is what we had verbally agreed to last fall.

2. I want STBXH to pay half my graduate school costs, approximately $17,000. (Wasn't even going to ask before.)

3. STBXH needs to disclose his employers pension plan that I KNOW he is vested in and I want half. (I had been willing to ignore it).

As it stands, I have access to over half his paycheck every month, so the longer it takes to settle, the better off I am. If his douchbag attorney wants to play rough, we'll play rough.

All that drivel of lets do this amiably seems to go out the window when they are faced with the reality of how a D will turn out.

Stick to you what you want. And certainly go after his pension! You are entitled to it. Most states it's the law that it's divided equitably. Did you know you will be able to claim half of his SS if it's more than you will get? Since you've been married longer than 10 years?

((((Gemini71)))

There's nothing like some fuckery to help you find your anger. Channel it into getting every single thing you are entitled too. Now the gloves come off. Keep emotion out of it as much as you can. Listen to your L and get ready for some epic mantrums.

The sad clown tried to pull everything he could. It didn't work for him. I moved on a few issues but only to expedite the process. I still have some options up my sleeve should he decide to come at me again.

Yep. Gloves coming off. Could be that idiot STBXH didn't read the MSA before his lawyer sent it. That's the kind of dimwit move he'd do.

However, I'm telling myself that it doesn't matter. He OWES me. My parents gave us the down payment on our house and paid off our credit cards for us twice. (Yeah, we were stupid Gen-Xers who lived on the magic plastic.) The least he could do his honor his promises.

Oh what am I thinking. The he honored his promises, I wouldn't be here. I think it's time to have my lawyer request a round of financial discovery.

I recommend that you go the discovery route so that all of the assets are revealed. Why oh Why would you want to forfeit half of the pension? That is yours, he is not giving you anything.