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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 5:40 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
I love to see the positive pieces of R.
It spreads hope to those who are still not sure of their own fate.
Congratulations on getting to such a happy place!!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
Sammy2013 ( member #41040) posted at 6:07 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
This was beautiful!!!!! Congrats!!!
WH -42;BS (me) 43
Married 17 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. TT and 3 more DDays in the 6 months to follow. Reconciled in year 4 of the 2-5 year range.
Skan (original poster member #35812) posted at 7:54 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Well, SisterM, you know any day I can make you cry is a good one! And tushnurse, who was playing? 
I think that we've been a good example of having to be willing to walk away from a marriage in order to save it. Because by most stretches of the imagination, he was remorseful from right after DDay and worked on himself and gave me a lot of hope. And then the TT/lies were such, that I could easily have justified to myself that it wasn't so bad, and that I could turn a blind eye. Except that I honestly think that had I done so, I would have been right back here in a year or three, in the same spot, but with a WH that had gotten far, far better at hiding his transgressions. It honestly wasn't until I detached fully from him and started organizing my life to live without him, had the financial talks with him about how to make it thru until divorce, and turned a bland, dis-interested eye on all of his words as he tried to figure out how to make things better, that he truly saw his life without us. It hurt like hell like to have torn my insides out, but I wanted/needed it all or nothing. And praise God, FWH came through.
Last night, he texted that he had to work late and missed our outrigger training which I went to. Called him when I got in the truck to come home and he had just pulled up to the house. So when I got home, I had a uncorked bottle of wine waiting for me and a beautiful cheese and meat platter for us to share while we caught up with each other's day. I'm loving this upswing! 
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
HoneyMe ( member #40613) posted at 12:13 AM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Skan, thanks for sharing with us the possible. You put a smile on my face. Hard work pays off and it is good to hear that people can reclaim integrity, love and loyalty.
3 A's
Blinded-sided DD 9/2011
Again 11/2011 and then more truth the next day. Separated 4 months. 2012, the year of truth and reconciliation.
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