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npain (original poster member #33539) posted at 9:15 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
I consulted with a lawyer about 6 weeks ago. Had to take a loan from my retirement fund to make this happen, but finally retained a lawyer and filed today. STBX should be served by next week.
STBX and I have been living separately since January 2012, so this is just the legal end of things. I no longer want him back...at all. He has done so many evil and disgusting things to me since DDay that he has managed to kill whatever love I once felt for him. OW frankly deserves him.
So today, I felt...relief.
The only thing that bothers me now, is what to tell the kids. I know that I will have to have a solo conversation with DD6 and DS9 as STBX is a coward. When we originally separated, we made arrangements to tell them together. He picked them up from their afterschool program and then gave him his own explanation before I even got there. What's sad is that he told them that "he did something bad, so he couldn't live there anymore". HUH? What sick person actually tells their kids that? So of course, my kids think that when dad starts behaving himself again he can come live with us again. So now I have to break it to them that it's never going to happen.
As creepy as STBX is, I do not want to purposely paint their father in a bad light in explaining the divorce to them. What do I say? Now the real truth is "Daddy used you kidsto bring his whore into our home to babysit you so he could have orgies when Mommy went to work". What do I say to them? I do believe that they will figure their father out on their own as he tends to be as poor as a father as he was a husband, but what do I say to them now?
S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!
Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 9:57 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
I will be with you soon today.
(((HUGS)))
No advice just know you are heard.
BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 10:03 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
You've been separated for 2 years. I would think that your children would have adapted to not living with mom & dad together? Have they been given hope that you would R?
At their ages, I would tell them that it's nothing they did, it's that mom & dad have adult problems that are impossible to work out. You've given it time (2 years) and there are no solutions except to remain apart permanently.
They are pretty young, so I'd keep it to very minimum details.
Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
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