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freeatlast72 (original poster member #42758) posted at 10:53 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2014
Tomorrow is the big day...we will have both attorneys there and a mediator who will help us both to come to an agreement regarding custody, spousal support, child support, etc...
So ready to move forward!!
BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 11:00 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2014
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 12:58 AM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
It IS a big day. Eat something yummy for breakfast and take some deep breaths. It will all be a memory soon!
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
courageous ( member #34477) posted at 1:04 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
So how did it go? Was a settlement agreed upon or are you going to court?
Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.
copout ( member #22421) posted at 1:26 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Your prison is walking through this world all alone.
freeatlast72 (original poster member #42758) posted at 1:59 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
It went as well as to be expected after 10.5 hours!!
I received full physical custody for DD6- he has "parenting" time EOW and one dinner visit per week...mainly during the school year. He did not even fight me for this one. Of course we have joing legal custody. Although he was a shit of a husband, he really is a good Dad.
During the summers we alternate weeks, etc.
I received alimony for 7 years on a step down schedule.
We will be listing the house soon.
At the end we almost did not come to an agreement regarding the alimony numbers, but he finally agreed.
I am so happy this is behind me! Today was supposed to be our 15th wedding anniversary, oh well, I am keeping myself busy and meeting up with girlfriends later.
[This message edited by freeatlast72 at 8:01 AM, April 24th (Thursday)]
BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 2:12 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Today was supposed to be our 15th wedding anniversary,
Give it some time, you will soon remember it as the day you took soem major steps towards freedom and your new life. 
I am glad the mediation went well and is behind you now.
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
Dawn58 ( member #37656) posted at 3:24 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Freeatlast72,
My mediation was Monday, ten hours for me. We did not come to a final agreement but my attorney says it may be wrapped up this week.
No kids in my marriage. He gets to keep his house, the house I live in has to be sold because he does not have the cash to pay me out.
Did you have to see your STBX at the proceedings? I had to, he came into the room I was in to receive the judges instructions regarding confidentiality. I just looked down, I did not want to look at him.
I am ready to put this whole nightmare aside. Still feel like I am in transition though, not quite sure what I am moving forward to.
I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.
freeatlast72 (original poster member #42758) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Dawn58,
I had to see STBXH for 10 minutes while the mediator spoke about the rules and confidentiality. I looked at him for a few seconds but we did not speak.
His attorney was so detail focused and focused in on every little expense....really?? The mediator was with them for hours at a time.
I knew that he did not want to litigate, more $$ for him so I knew we would eventually come to a resolution. My attorney prepared me for the alimony part- and that was the hardest by far. Everything else we agreed on (more or less).
You will move forward-- I am not saying it will be easy but take it one day at a time. We will get through this.
BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
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