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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 3:33 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
I'm standing up for myself and my family in the best way possible for us.
That weight is gone. I found my peace about it.
Good stuff. Betcha QS is doing cartwheels!!!
Or not. But I'm sure he's damned proud of you!
Anyhoo, he opened his mouth and said he understood my insecurities, he saw them, but they didn't hold him back, they aren't the definition of me, and he loves me regardless. I heard him. I mean really heard him.
I don't find it coincidental that having dealt with FOO, you're finally hearing him, do you?
Good job Aubrie. QS, glad you're opening up!
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 3:36 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
If I knew that I or my FOO were to drop dead tomorrow, what would I feel? How would I feel? Would I change anything? And it hit me. I wouldn't. I have done the best that I can with the circumstances I've been given. Sure, I would feel sadness and a sense of regret because I know it could have been different. But I can say I wouldn't be scrambling, trying to apologize, trying to smooth things over, or to fix it, before I or them died. This is the way things are.
This right here tells you all you need to know.
This is what I have asked myself as well, and I have had the same answer. I would be sad, and there would be regret, but I cannot change anything at this point. The fact that they are toxic to me has not changed. That is what you have realized as well. It is hard to realize that and it takes time to adjust to it.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 4:32 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
5454, cartwheels are so totally out of character for him, its comical to think of him actually doing them. 
I don't find it coincidental that having dealt with FOO, you're finally hearing him, do you?
You have a point. Guess the changes have been sneaking up on us both. It took a few changes piling up before we realized how much of a shift has happened. 
TG, it's so strange to have a cord in hand, and to be looking for the outlet in the dark. Finally making that connection? We're bathed in the warm glow of the lightbulb going, "Ta-da! You got it." Seemingly simple steps. Hard to do in the dark. But hey, the light's on now.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 4:37 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
We're bathed in the warm glow of the lightbulb going, "Ta-da! You got it." Seemingly simple steps. Hard to do in the dark. But hey, the light's on now
Very happy for you both
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
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