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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Reconciliation :
first run in with OW since Dday

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 reallysad2012 (original poster member #37658) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Okay. I was expecting this to happen. I had planned to act like I knew nothing because OW does not know that I know about the A. I decided keeping it that way would be best.

I pulled it off. Acted like nothing was out of place. Didn't even hate her. I did get a rush of adrenaline which made my hands shake a little bit but I had time to compose myself before we had to talk.

After, I was fine. It was so weird. I had thought I might crumple and cry when I got home, but I didn't. Some part of me thinks I have not really dealt with the fact that I was nice and polite to the woman who had sex with my husband.

Of course, I told H about it as soon as I got home and he was more upset than me. Because he had put me in that spot. But I felt better and better as the night went on because I had met her and talked to her and I didn't give anything away. It felt a little empowering, if that makes sense.

I am still not sure my mind has really dealt with it as well as I think I have. So far so good, though.

me BS
him WH
his A was in 2001, DDay confession 9/5/2012

posts: 118   ·   registered: Nov. 30th, 2012
id 6770519
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:22 PM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

I was in that position once. I take heart and great satisfaction in the fact that I didn't reveal anything to her. Knowledge is power, and since she lacks knowledge of what /Iyou know, I think our ows are at a disadvantage, at least theoretically.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31131   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 6770523
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 1:09 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

I think you handled yourself exceptionally well. Really good job on keeping your composure, not giving away info, and ultimately taking the high road.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6770928
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