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Divorce/Separation :
WH says he won't get a job

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 Mochagurl (original poster member #14660) posted at 6:27 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

My WH is currently without a job. He has been doing temp work on and off since September 2013. Now he says he is t going to get a job cuz a good portion would go to SS. Kids are over 18. Long term marriage and all. My attorney advised to wait until he was employed. She said no job no SS.

He is a professional and should be making a substantial income. He has had anger issues on the job and he may never be paid what he should be making again.

I am Getting sick of waiting for a job to come through. I am thinking of looking at other attorneys again, but not sure I should go that route.

Life isn't fair. We have been together since high school under grad medical school and residency and 20 years of him working. Things should be getting better and easier now.

Me: BS-56
Him: WS-56
Married: 36 years
Divorced: 11-17-15
DD 36, DD 26, DS 23, DD 20
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

posts: 312   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Ohio
id 6778804
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:37 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Please tell me he's clueless enough to have made such statements in writing?

((((mochagurl))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6778822
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 Mochagurl (original poster member #14660) posted at 6:42 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Nothing in writing. Just an argument with me, more than once. The most recent being last night. I had my iphone last night and was wishing it knew how to record the conversation.

I am concerned. I only make 1/10 of his salary. And I took 20 years off of work to raise the family and look after his well being so he could concentrate on his career.

Me: BS-56
Him: WS-56
Married: 36 years
Divorced: 11-17-15
DD 36, DD 26, DS 23, DD 20
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

posts: 312   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Ohio
id 6778831
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one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 6:48 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

He's bluffing. Divorce him anyway. You will get half of savings and retirement assets. And when a judge finds out why he isn't working, you will get more of assets.

When he has to slash his style of living because there is no income, he'll rethink not working.

Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014

It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.

posts: 714   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2007   ·   location: California
id 6778837
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 6:56 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

If you can prove he is purposely underemployed, the court can impute his income.

Gather all his degrees, certificates that relate to his employment, continuing ed credits and make copies of them.

Gather his last 3 years income statements from when he was permanently employed.

Take it to your attorney. They will let you know if they have enough to pursue imputing income with the courts.

It's another (longer?) step in the process, but it can be done.

Good luck,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6778847
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 Mochagurl (original poster member #14660) posted at 7:15 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

My attorney was hoping to keep this as a dissolution and no court involved. She thought we wouldn't have as many arguments and discussions that way.

Me: BS-56
Him: WS-56
Married: 36 years
Divorced: 11-17-15
DD 36, DD 26, DS 23, DD 20
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

posts: 312   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Ohio
id 6778888
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one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 7:24 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Here comes a 2x4---

Gather your strength and self respect and move on without this loser. Tell your attorney you want to file. So what if you have to go to court? Will it cost more? Yes. You can petition the court to have him pay court costs AND your attorney fees.

What's more important to you? Paying court costs or living in misery.

Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014

It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.

posts: 714   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2007   ·   location: California
id 6778921
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 Mochagurl (original poster member #14660) posted at 8:14 PM on Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Thanks! Great advise, as usual. I guess I just needed reassurance that it will work out. He is getting close to retirement age and he has said a number of times he might just retire. But he really can't afford it right now.

Me: BS-56
Him: WS-56
Married: 36 years
Divorced: 11-17-15
DD 36, DD 26, DS 23, DD 20
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

posts: 312   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Ohio
id 6779006
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