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Chinadoll30 (original poster member #43131) posted at 6:07 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
WH has completely cut off contact with AP since DDay. (2 week PA when we were living apart, ended when her H found out and told me). Changed his phone number, working at a different location. I have checked the phones, no contact. She left him a note on his car the day after DDay, which he threw away and told me about. We are working towards R. I asked him to write the no contact letter so I could read what he had to say. It basically says what a mistake it was, how he regrets ever meeting her, if they ever see each other to please just turn around and walk away. Now I sort of feel like sending it would be reestablishing contact. He says that the letter is mine to do what I wish with it, he doesn't know her address to mail it. Any thoughts?
ETA: DDay was 3 weeks ago.
[This message edited by Chinadoll30 at 12:11 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave
Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 6:13 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
When was DDay? I say a NC letter is needed if OW makes contact, especially if your H never sent one. After that, give them the silent treatment unless they continue for an extended time. My H's OW sent notes, emails, and gifts for a few months. We never responded in any way.
Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Chinadoll30 (original poster member #43131) posted at 6:31 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
It's been 3 weeks. Feels like years and years.
"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 10:50 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
At this point, I would say to keep NC unless she tries to break it again. Then send the NC letter. If she's staying away, then that's what you want.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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