SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

you weren't serious with the question where you? Hello....SWAT guy here.

Sure I was, aren't you either behind a desk now or soon to be? Doesn't the powdered sugar interfere with the grip? The jelly make it slippery?

Seriously, you're doing as well as can be expected. I don't know how I would have reacted to a *meeting* with POSER for *closure* or whatever the excuse might have been. It's all a complicated mess when I look at how closely y'all were intertwined prior to, heck, even the M.

Understand, I am in NO way lessening SoSorry's culpability in any of this. Damn, POSER literally had EVERY advantage and unfortunately used them for his benefit. Given his complete disregard for the penalties, I have actually started to wonder if he wasn't aiming to hurt YOU when all this started. I want YOU to be extra careful. Something just isn't sitting *right* here.

She did ask if we could talk soon, but I'm just not ready yet. I told her and she just said alright and thanked me for the extra security. She did say she would talk to me if or whenever I was ready.

You'll be ready when you are ready. There's a shit ton to process. When you've built yourself back up, when you know the questions you want to ask, you'll be ready(Oh, there will ALWAYS be more, don't wait just because you think the list is incomplete).

Steak and Lobster on the grill sounds like a great way to help you process. Do you have an answer ready for when she wants to participate in Fathers day? Make sure the kiddo's are with you for this!

Won't the butter make the grip slippery also?

Happy Fathers day SWAT. Stay safe, enjoy the day!

Good thing you're anonymous here, 5454. Everybody here has troubles, but NEVER question a mans ability to accurately fire his weapons! That's too low of a blow. If I were on the jury, I'd rule it justifiable homicide!

Schad,

A little *friendly* ribbing brother

I would NEVER truly question a MANS ability to accurately fire his weapon. Especially a member of a SWAT team, let alone its leader! Even the *anonymity* of the net wouldn't be enough to cover my ass!

(Ladies, it was Schad who started it )

SWAT - that rookie sounds like a good egg. Nice of her to make that offer.

Enjoy your BBQ. Sounds like a great way to spend Father's Day.

I really hope you get to enjoy your Fathers day without it being about her or OM. You deserve some peace for a while. Make the day about you and the precious ones that call you Dad.

SWAT - that rookie sounds like a good egg. Nice of her to make that offer.

I agree. Probably because she is from Ohio.

Glad that you're going to get time to spend with your kids on Father's Day. Your BBQ grill sounds just yummy!

5454real, what grip? Don't need no stinking grip with an early Monkey-Ward shotgun. You just holds the trigger down and keep pumping (last bit thrown in for Schad), and it just keeps firing. Walk that line right up the target!

Happy Father's Day SWAT! Enjoy the day and most importantly your kids.

Sending your family positive thoughts for this weekend.

yop

THE OM must be a real idiot. He has to know about SWAT's AIM.

My grip and aim are just fine folks. I always hit what I'm aiming for. Was nice to wake up to some humor and laughs again. Thanks for that.

Father's Day should be great weather forecast is favorable. I think I'll let the kids decide what we will do for the day though. I know it's for the fathers out there, but my kids have some great ideas when it comes to entertainment. But food is non-negotiable, must be grilled.

BIL mentioned a BBQ yesterday and I told him I would think about it. My nieces and nephews are great kids as well and we always have a great time as a family. But I'm not sure. Our Memorial Day party went fine but then the fit hit the Shan and here we are. Not sure I'm looking forward to a repeat performance. She says there is no more and sure as hell hope so because I'm not sure I can take any more. So what do ya think?

Off to work. Busy weekend for several here I'm sure. Just want to wish all the dads out there a happy Father's Day a little early.

Our Memorial Day party went fine but then the fit hit the Shan and here we are. Not sure I'm looking forward to a repeat performance. She says there is no more and sure as hell hope so because I'm not sure I can take any more. So what do ya think?

SWAT, as always I won't tell you what I think you should do. I will tell you what I think I see though.

I honestly believe your WW is trying like hell to be a better person -- to identify her faults and correct them -- not just for you but for herself and for her children.

I believe she does not want to hurt you. I believe that she is not very well equipped to handle the situation she has created, but she is learning.

I believe she will try to protect you if given a chance.

I also know that the truth is, none of this may matter to you. The only right answer here is what is right for you. So do the BBQ or don't. Either way we've got your back.

What do we think? I'd ask what do you think? Regardless of the sitch with WW, what is one of the biggest things YOU live for in life? Family. You can still be guarded and still enjoy your family. Go to the BBQ. Doesn't change a thing except gives YOU much needed family time.

I say go get yourself another win. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy your extended family.

I say to you, what does your gut say? You know the answer.

yop

Swat,

Since you intend to divorce you should start emotionally detaching from your wife. That includes being in the same area and/or events she is at. So if it’s a BBQ with your WW attending… I suggest you don’t go.

Is there more? Is there any trickle truth left? Well… Yes… chances are there is something left. Hopefully nothing big (and the pics and journal definitely were big) but in my experience even the smallest omitted piece of info tends to have negative impact on the BS. It takes a strong character to discern relevant and non-relevant information and keep everything in perspective.

But then SWAT – what does it matter if there is more? You have decided to divorce and your soon-to-be ex wife has no obligation to tell you anything more about the affair. Nor do you have any need to hear any more.

Grip and aim? Strangely I have not had a gun since I left Law Enforcement. Security is my old side-handle baton that is kept under my bed. But I guess an OM with the behavior your ex supervisor is showing… I would be replacing that baton with a short Mossberg and some training in firing from the hip.

[This message edited by Bigger at 8:57 PM, June 13th (Friday)]

Swat, I haven't sounded off here in a while but know this - NEVER let what that SSOS (sorry sack of shit) might do impact what YOU want to do. To do so gives him far to much power and influence. You dealt with that POS before and you'll do it again IF you have to. live your life the way you want and fuck everyone else ... :

SWAT-

All I keep thinking is that you need to be cautious of being baited by OM into something that will cost you YOUR job. I just see that possibility lurking out there with his irrational behavior.

SWAT

Enjoy your fathers day.

And only do the talk when you are ready.

ANd not on a holiday.

HM

I wonder if all this aggravation from the OM has a purpose. I know he keeps being arrested and thrown in jail, but he has helped to destroy your marriage, post affair, by persuading WW to meet him once more; sending all those nude pics of your wife to many people, particularly at your work, and upsetting you by repeatedly contacting your wife. Keeping everything on the boil.

The net result is you filing for divorce. OM will keep the pressure up, with more arrests for breaking the restraining order; more embarrassment for you and your wife. Just to make sure you go through with the divorce. Then, he reckons, he will step in to claim what he believes is rightfully his; your STBX wife.

Your wife continually rejects him, but he thinks with you out of the picture, she may weaken and succumb to his blandishments. He's not giving up thats obvious. Lose a few battles but ultimately win the war.

I thought of that as well OK_Now.

he ends every note with "luv ya." I would hope that SWAT's WW isn't stupid enough to go down that path after they D but loneliness and despair can make people do stupid things.

[This message edited by mike7 at 10:46 AM, June 14th (Saturday)]

Ok now. Some other people have also mentioned that to me. I would have to agree with you. But damn he is nuts. I can't believe I never noticed it. If that is what he thinks love is, I would almost pity him...not really. He's a freaking douche canoe.

He may think that. But WW knows without any doubt I will fight her to the bitter end if that man is ever anywhere near my kids.

So. I managed to finagle tonight off as well. Thank you rookies. That should make Father's Day a little more enjoyable. I agreed with BIL that a BBQ would be nice. The whole family will be there. There will be three very awesome dads there if you don't mind me saying.

So far it has been a fairly decent week and OM isn't winning this weekend. I won't allow it. As a matter of fact I'll never allow it. I'm moving forward towards d with some stumbles along the way. I see her trying to make changes and I'm actually very proud of her. She seems to be happy again and for that I'm grateful. Today I'm on the up slope of this ride and it isn't so painful. The lows suck and I wish I never had to get on this ride. But here I am.

I want to wish all the dads a happy Father's Day and all that.

Enjoy the day and BBQ SWAT. I'll be firing up the grill to.

Happy Father's Day weekend SWAT, and to all the Menz. Post d-day I find days and weekends like this - holidays and Hallmark holidays - to be especially tough. The hurtful things that were done to us and the family as a whole come into sharper focus. For me at least - your marriage may vary.

Screw that depressing shit, let's enjoy the weekend with our kids.

ETA: Wrong thread for me too, yop. Thought I was responding to SWAT on the Menz thread for some reason. But Happy FD to SWAT just the same.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 3:19 PM, June 14th (Saturday)]