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Newest Member: Anderson78

Reconciliation :
Bad memory with recent flashbacks

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 LostinNH (original poster new member #43424) posted at 3:02 PM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Not only what I did was horrible....damaging to the man I love and want to share my life with, but my ability to remember just WTF happened is beyond me. I get little "snapshots", usually in my sleep, wake up feeling like crap and deciding to overcome the loathe some, feel-bad-about-myself, selfish shit and try to make the day a good one. Major life events recently; loss of his job and transition to move cross country, serious car accident (me), immediately followed by moving then unexpected loss of my job. I'm feeling scared. Sad. Anxious. Worthless. And like a failure in many ways.

I'm BiPolar and take mood stabilizers + anxiety meds. In the "queue" for new psych appt which could take 8-10 weeks, ugh.

We have a teenage son and I am failing him miserably. My husband is unhappy thankfully, our girls are living away (college) and don't see the hole we are falling into...

Shouldn't running in a circle bring you back to the beginning where you started?

posts: 12   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2014
id 6799944
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Is this the way you are normally, or do you think you're under extra stress now? Could extra stress be causing your inability to comprehend what you've done? Any new meds?

If it's extra stress, perhaps you'll get control when the stress diminishes or you get more used to it.

Are you aware of the WS forum? You may get more help there - more people who've been where you are and done what you've done.

Also, BSes can give you 2 X 4s here. On the WS forum you can prevent BSes from chiming in. Your call - do what's best for your healing.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31149   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 6800120
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 LostinNH (original poster new member #43424) posted at 4:50 PM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Definitely under extra stress with little to no outlet. Thanks for the advice, will try the WS forum.

Shouldn't running in a circle bring you back to the beginning where you started?

posts: 12   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2014
id 6800184
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Please use the existing thread.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=531216

Thank you.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6800250
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