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bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 12:55 AM on Monday, May 19th, 2014
My H takes responsibility for his affair, and reports to be grateful that I am still around. He also says the person he showed the least respect for during the affair was himself.
He did not treat me with respect during the affair, but I think actually has greater respect for me now than he ever has, because reconciliation is some seriously hard stuff!
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
trying to smile ( member #9683) posted at 10:45 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
respecting yourself is what ultimately matters.
9 years later and I still sometimes struggle with this.
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
crossroads2010 ( member #30213) posted at 11:23 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
I think a BS always has that question lurking...if someone had asked "What would you do if you caught your H cheating?," before the A, most of us would have said that the M would be over, yet here we are. I don't think my H will ever understand why I stayed...during the worst fog of the A, after he and OW "mutually" decided to not have contact anymore, he told me I had "won"....yea, I know...won what??? Sometimes I am not sure if that is still in his head. Other times, I think he realizes he won and dodged a bullet by not ending up more involved with her.
My youngest, a teen at the time, was a factor in me staying then...that and the fact that I really didn't see my 35 year relationship with a man I truly loved being over. In my mind, I respect me for that...it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.
When I asked him, what if it had been the other way around, he said he wouldn't want to know...that explains a lot.
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