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Based on what you said about the condition of your marriage, was one of your complaints that you had to do things *for* SWAT or the marriage? Were your expectations at the time that it should all be *given* to you or that a M shouldn't require work?

Perhaps I'm reading incorrectly, but that's what I'm getting. If I'm reading correctly, you're not alone. My FWW had exactly the same *expectations*. Our R didn't really commence until she realized that by doing things for herself, she was actually making herself a *safe* person to be around. I will never hear *but I did it all for you*.

I would not take too much comfort in the Dogs. Apparently they had no impact when the OM broke into the yard and did the damage.

Be careful

There was no problems in the marriage. I would take the slightest issue and turn it into a major problem. For example Swat would be at work and not answer his phone or texts for a brief time. He has a busy and dangerous job and can't always answer his phone. But I would take that and embellish it. It became "Swat never talks to me, he's always working. He doesn't care there could have been an emergency with the kids." I would do this with a lot of things. I never said it to him, but I would broadcast it far and wide. Why? So people would feel sorry for me or comfort me.

5454, I was a liar and manipulator. I lied to everyone including myself. Its what I needed to do to justify what I had done. I posted before, I was always the good girl, everyone liked me and respected me. I could never cheat unless he did something wrong. So I made him this horrible person, so I could do what I did.

I don't want to be that person anymore.

Circling the drain. He was in a car, not a whole lot they could have done. They would have tried thought. The two males were freaking out trying to get outside.

Hi.

I'm glad and proud of the work you've begun doing on yourself.

I'm concerned as well for your safety. Do you carry any protection with you, such as a taser or a pepper-spray? Have the kids been told that if xyz tells them to go with them, they shouldn't? Has the school, places they go for activities been told that under no circumstances should they be allowed to leave with xyz, even if he says he's a cop etc.?

I'm sorry if I sound paranoid, but as a lawyer I'm quite accustomed to having to think of every conceivable scenario...

I truly wish all of you peace and happiness, in whatever form it may come.

Hobbes, OC spray on the key chain, tasers are illegal here. But I do have a cc permit and a Sig Sauer P220 and a Glock model 23, which are always with me now.

The schools knows not to allow them to leave with anyone except, BH, my parents and my brother or SIL. My mom works part time as an aide, so they are well aware of the problem. Summer activities haven't started yet, but they will be advised.

Glad to hear it. I'm just afraid he might try to pose as a police officer and try to do something... But I'm sure you guys have given it a lot more thought than I have, so I'll just stop:)

Best wishes

Hobbes, thank you for your concern.