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anothermoron (original poster new member #43237) posted at 9:32 PM on Monday, May 19th, 2014
I have to go to an evening event and want to offer my wife some way to know that's where I am. Any suggestions on a tracker of some kind?
Also, my wife is going to feel psycho tracking me. It doesnt fit with her self image of who she wants to be. How can I help her do this without her feeling bad about it?
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 9:40 PM on Monday, May 19th, 2014
Text her pictures of when you arrive, when you walk in the door, and when you leave. Go on bathroom breaks and text/call her from there.
Pick out a tracker together. Or install one yourself then give her all the info needed to follow you. (Proactive approach)
Take her with you. Is this an event she could tag along on?
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
Matilda23 ( member #42807) posted at 4:28 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
^^^^^
I completely agree with her. What also helps is finding something like a clock or the time on it so when i take the photo I have a time stamp. BBF and I have an iPhone so we did the findmyfriend app and couples app. The couples app is neat because you can text one another and send each other locations. I turned my gps tracking on my phone to stay open at all times. Hope this was helpful.
WGF - 24
BBF - MercilesslyNuked, 30
DDay 1 - 1/6/14
DDay 2 - 1/23/14
I Am Strong! I Am Beautiful! I Am Smart! I Am Worthy!
oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 4:51 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
If you have gmail (if not make an account) for free you can use Google's location history and/or device manager.
https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/4388034?hl=en
https://maps.google.com/locationhistory
https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/3265955?hl=en
https://www.google.com/android/devicemanager
Location history gives you ongoing history, you just need to refresh the page to get a new location. For the most part it's pretty reliable & seems to get a satellite refresh no more than 5 minutes later.
Device manager is a one time shot, tho you can keep it going with refreshing the page. Because this is the big boy that will find your lost phone, ring the phone to be found, lock the phone or wipe the history...for whatever reason it's GPS is much more accurate and timely.
Good luck and thanks for wanting to put your wife at ease
ETA: I forgot to add: Because the location history isn't an automatic minute to minute history, if you haven't received an update for awhile, you are better off then confirming the loc with the device manager. May and October are notorious months for sunspot activity which messes with satellite communications. As a for instance, all was going this well this am until approx 7:07...it's now 7:48 and no new location. When I go to check, say a couple of hours from now all those timestamps & locs should be there, it just seems like a product Google doesn't give as much priority to.
If I was really, really worried about it, there are sites out there that give you times on solar flares, etc....but nah, the device manager is working just fine thank goodness.
[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 9:52 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.
theseseatsRtaken ( member #43088) posted at 5:58 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
BW and I are using an app called life360. Install on both phones. Free version lets you view partner location, request check ins, chat, receive alerts when partner arrives/leaves a specific location, track gps ping history for the day and a few other functions. We have found it really useful and very reliable.
Hope you find something!
Me: WH 36
Her: BW 38 (RomanticInnocenc)
DS1: 7 DS2: 5 DS3: 4 DD: 2
DDay#1 08/Jan/14 DDay#2 10/Jan/14
PM's with men only pls.
Love is a choice. You dont fall into love. You step into it willingly - and you PRACTISE every day!
theseseatsRtaken ( member #43088) posted at 6:26 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
Duplicate sorry.
[This message edited by theseseatsRtaken at 12:29 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]
Me: WH 36
Her: BW 38 (RomanticInnocenc)
DS1: 7 DS2: 5 DS3: 4 DD: 2
DDay#1 08/Jan/14 DDay#2 10/Jan/14
PM's with men only pls.
Love is a choice. You dont fall into love. You step into it willingly - and you PRACTISE every day!
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 11:23 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
She shouldn't feel bad. Right now it's all about protecting her and helping her feel secure after her world's been blown apart. This "trust but verify" stuff doesn't have to last forever...if you do everything right...she will feel more secure and will ease out of this stage a lot faster.
Carry a VAR in your pocket in addition to the pics.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
anothermoron (original poster new member #43237) posted at 11:57 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
thanks all, much appreciated
annb ( member #22386) posted at 12:04 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
Check in with her several times during the event. Your wife must be feeling extremely unsafe at this point. I cannot imagine the fear she will be feeling when you are there without her. Is it possible for her to attend with you? My WH did not attend any events after D-Day, I would have been a freaking mess.
Aside from the tracker, please check in with her every 1/2 hour or so. Tell her who you are with and what you are doing. Let her know when you are leaving as well. Do not consume alcohol!
She should not feel bad about it. Infidelity changes who we are, before the A I couldn't ever imagine checking my WH's phone, cell records, emails, etc., or not allowing him to travel and attend work events. Hypervigilance and fear sets in. That's where she is at right now.
Good luck!
sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 6:04 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
One of my issues is AA meetings. I can't use a VAR there because of their traditions. But what I do is get someone's phone number while there and put it in my phone.
This morning I went to the post office to mail a package. I think she was uneasy with this because I used to mail gifts to my APs. I scanned the reciept which showed where I was mailing the package and the company that I was mailing it to. Along with their website.
I did this without being asked because I want to do this.
Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts
Alyssamd24 ( member #39005) posted at 11:04 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
We also use the app life360
Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you.....the thing you think you can't survive....its the thing that makes you better than you used to be.
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