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I was holding my late husband's hand when he died at home. I have since described his breathing for the moments before death as "sounding similar to a woman struggling to give birth.". I believe that he was trying to give birth to his new, pain free life.

I didn't understand that he had died when the panting stopped, until the hospice nurse leaned over and listened to his heart with her stethoscope and then shook her head slightly at the caretaker who was there. I said " hold on, did he just die?".

I was calm for about the first hour, because I was glad that his pain had stopped. Then I had a little meltdown that involved some shouting at his body along the lines of "When I told you it was OK to go, I was LYING!!!! I want to go with you."..... fade into hysterical crying. My current husband, as my husband's closest friend was there to witness this.

I will always be grateful to have been there. I continued to hold his hand until the cremation society people came to take him. I watched them roll him slightly to get him into the body bag, and I do wish that I could unsee the lividity all over his back.....

Hit-by-a-train

I just wanted to tell you how moved I was by what you wrote. You are a strong women.

My 81 year old father was diagnosed with terminal cancer a couple of years ago. We were told he had 4 months left and focused on making those months as memorable as possible. Two months in I had to go to another country for a week on a project I was working on and was assured by the medical staff he would be there when I got back.

Five days in I get a call late in the afternoon from my brother telling me dad was in the hospital and had possibly 24 hours left. Despite my best efforts I couldn’t get a flight back until next day. I talked to my mom and my siblings that were with them but dad had slipped into deep sleep and was heavily sedated and couldn’t talk on the phone.

I spent the night trying to sleep and finally fell asleep at 4 am or so. At 5:17 I woke up and felt a sense of stillness and peace in the hotel room. I got out of bed and was sitting on a chair when at 5:25 my brother phoned me to let me know dad had passed away at 5:16.

I am so totally certain that he took the time to come to me to assure me all would be fine.

I held my Nana's hand when she left this life.

It was very peaceful. She had been "sleeping"--you know, that deep kind of coma sleep that wasn't really a coma, but wasn't really sleep either..

She opened her eyes when I got there (My brother and I had to fly in from CO when she was dying), and she said "there's my angel" (she always me called me "angel") and she closed her eyes again. But she gripped my hand so tightly.

Right before she passed, she opened her eyes again and said "Ok, Mackie, I'm ready to go now. I love you all." Mackie is what she called my grandfather who passed before I was born.

She smiled, blew a kiss and closed her eyes.

It was so intimate. It was so beautiful. I'm so thankful she chose me to be with her.

I miss her so much. It's been 12 years and I miss her so much.

I'm going to Lilydale, NY next month. I am really hoping to hear from her. But I'll be glad and grateful for whomever comes to speak to me.

I just read through this entire thread.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I have wept for each memory you all have shared.

I have said prayers for all of the souls mentioned here. I hope everyone who has lost someone has found peace and love in their memories.