SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I do believe in karma or what goes around comes around. Even though I know Im a good person and I got dealt a rough hand over the past year I still see a lot in life that lacks coincidence. Post Dday I got rid of things that made me trigger, but one I couldnt was his new truck. He got an AP to drive him 4hrs away and pay for a hotel so he could pick up our new truck. Post Dday I told him I will always see the truck as something she took him to get, even though she never got in it...she just dropped him off to buyit. I wanted it gone but equally I didnt feel it was appropriate for us to loose several thousand dollars over it.

Fast forward 10m of R and H finally convinces me the family should go to the same city and buy a trailer for some good summer family fun. We found one, awesome people and clean solid trailer so we bought it and brought it home today. I had a very triggery wknd though so he decided tp drop kids and I off at home before taking the trailer to park it. We went home and he never left. Transmission on the truck died. Ugh. As much as I wanted it gone we now have to either spend thousands to fix it or lose the thousands we bought it for and its a newer truck so thats hardly anoption. I am having a hard time not thinking this is somehow karma. His friend who is a car dealer offered to buy the truck this weekend but he decided to hold onto it and i agreed...now this. This trip was supposed to be positive family oriented changes and instead we have a busted truck with a trailer we cant enjoy til its fixed...why cant we catch a break? Havent I been through enough without these added stresses? I had to really push myself to focus on the family and think outside my comfort zone to even go on this trip and make this purchase. Why cant I be rewarded for my efforts for once? All I wanted was to make a reasonably pricey family focused purchase and try to do something positive for moving forward...is that so wrong? Ugh...I guess on the bright side we mde it home before it happened! It just feels its becoming defeating.

The only reason there is some truth to "What goes around comes around" is because sometimes there are actual consequences for bad deeds (such as getting arrested and going to jail if you commit a serious crime, or losing your wife and family if you cheated). But other than those types of consequences, bad things often happen to everyone rather randomly, some seeming to have more than their share, like cancer and horrific, even fatal accidents among their loved ones.

Most everyone I have ever known has some expensive disaster story involving a motor vehicle and it has nothing to do with whether they are good or bad people, seeming to deserve Karma, or not.

Some people are horrible people and skate through life. For example, we sued a man who owed us $5000. We "won" the judgment but then he went bankrupt. Then, believe it or not he won $250,000 in the lottery (interesting that someone who can't pay their bills easily affords lottery tickets...but anyway...)We know the people where he bought the ticket and he definitely bought the ticket but had his live-in gf claim she won it since many people would have expected him to pay back money he owed! He never paid us a cent of that $5000 and seems to still be skating happily through life, about 7 years later now.

Some here also assume bad people have a conscience that "punishes" them every day when they look into a mirror. I don't think so. I think more an more people today don't even have a conscience at all. Sorry I went way off your topic but I just don't believe in Karma, nor does what goes around, necessarily come back around to those who deserve it most, at least not on this earth.

I believe in Karma - "what goes around comes around". I believe the universe does correct all things in the end.

Prior to a month ago - "D-Day" - I would have said my "wayward" had had enough bad in her world over the years and more than enough to settle any score she needed to. Now after what I saw "in" and "of" her - since "D-Day" - I feel she has courted it endlessly - and still is. I feel what she may be going through now is payback on things she still owes for.

Though still very damaged by what she did to me because it is so recent - I am glad the universe is exacting a cost to her at this time - and equally glad that from now on her bad karma will not be effecting me any longer.

I did not see it as a burden then to assist her - I saw it as a privilege and an honor - but now that the "rose colored glasses" were knocked off my face by her - I see things differently now and that it was a burden after all.

I do not think I got much of the truth from her after "D-Day" (if I ever got the truth at any time we were together) - but at least I no longer have to lie to myself about her as well.

Seeing things more clearly must be part of the healing process.

- BlackHorse.