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jendo (original poster member #43059) posted at 11:22 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
I read this on here often and wonder how many couples who have infidelity issues were high school sweethearts or married young? It seems like there are so many BS on this site that say that they only people they had been with was there WS.
WH and I have been together since we were 17, married at 21. He was a virgin when we married- I had been with a couple of guys, however, I was a victim of date rape at age 15 so no major sexual relationships. Following the rape I made poor choices a couple of times that I regret.
Anyways, I do wonder if part of the reason WH chose an A was that he had such little experience? NO excuse of course, but just wonder sometimes.
BW Me (40ish)- now closer to 50
WH Him (40ish)- now closer to 50
Kids ages 10-20- now 18-28
Married 20 years- no2 28 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and
tfkeel ( member #19517) posted at 12:27 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
I think it was MY inexperience that caused my WW to cheat.
She was quite promiscuous before marriage, I was not a virgin, but had very little experience.
She was quite disappointed in me, seeming to want the things done in porn films, etc.
TrustedHer ( member #23328) posted at 12:51 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
I think it was MY inexperience that caused my WW to cheat.
Bullshit.
She cheated because she chose to cheat.
If you were unwilling or unteachable, and she needed that kind of porn film sex, she could have divorced you instead of cheating.
ETA: Sore spot. XWW and I were onlies, HS sweethearts. I was the one who wanted a better sex life, she didn't. Until she decided to sow her teenage oats in her 50's. By picking up men at church and in bars.
[This message edited by TrustedHer at 6:53 PM, June 10th (Tuesday)]
Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.
Jls0320 ( member #41192) posted at 1:11 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
We met senior year of high school and married 8 yrs later at 26. Looking back he was always a porn addict, as technology advanced so did his addiction
Me: BS 2 young kiddos
Him: EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one
Losconang15 ( member #42544) posted at 6:05 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
WH and I are also high school "sweethearts" and firsts sexually. He was my second but I guess first official boyfriend. Not much of the same for him. But still. So while I understand the whole probable inexperience, what else does the world has to offer, etc etc. I still believe it was NOT a reason for his actions. I'm not experience but I have no desire to betray my spouse. That's a cowardly move but that's just my take.
Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA
Hopeful reconciliation
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 6:40 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
I think you're searching for a common ground that's just not there. We've all done this to a certain extent when trying to make sense of something that is absolutely foreign to us.
Some of us were in long term relationships/marriages--the X and I were M almost 30 years when I found out he was cheating. Some of us are/were in 2nd and 3rd marriages. Some are in their early 20s. Some were cheated on while they were not even married yet.
The experiences on this board are diverse as well as intimately familiar.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 7:54 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
We started dating in HS. He was a slut, I wasn't. We met young but didnt marry til mid 20's. I was nothing like the girls he dated and was the first one he took home to meet the parents.
I have thought before, he's always like slutty girls but he told me when we had been dating a couple of months that he wanted a good girl. I guess he never dropped that habit considering what owis like.
[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 1:57 AM, June 11th (Wednesday)]
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
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