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12yearsloyal (original poster member #43064) posted at 2:42 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014
Ok, here is my question: I want WS to have NC with the following people. Tell me if I am being unreasonable to request this:
(for clarification I am giving fake names to them)
1. OW
2. Mary -she is good friends with OW and BS
3. Bob - best friend to WS in foreign country
4. George - Brother of Mary
For further clarification, Bob is also married/separated from Mary and George's sister.
WS met OW thru Mary.
Bob does not support our M and has been a dick to me in the past. (he is a bully w/drinking issues)
George is a nice guy but I don't want contact with any relatives of Mary.
WS does not need a female friend.
OW, Mary and Bob live in the foreign country where WS used to live/work. George lives in the U.S.
Tell me if asking for NC with these people is normal or unreasonable? I don't want them in my life or my marriage. WS does not need to be updated on OW from any of them and I feel they will update him if he keeps contact.
Please advise.
Him: WS, 51 EA/PA 2.5 years
D Day 3/10/14 N/C broke (phone/email) 6/14-10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Banana Republic whore
Status: Fence sitting or D Praying for answers
Betrayal: so painful it should be a crime - 12 months in prison.
kima ( new member #43849) posted at 2:48 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014
I think: Anyone who makes you uncomfortable needs some kind of resolution.
Maybe you need NC or maybe some other "out of the box" solution like talking only when you are there. One thing I have been learning is that boundaries are intended to be safe for everyone involved. If it is past your boundary (gives you unsettling feelings) find one that works for you.
Anything or anybody that does not bring you alive is too small for you -david whyte
UpInTheAirNow ( member #37777) posted at 4:09 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014
Your not being unreasonable. They are a friend of the marriage. Or they have to go. Whatever makes you feel safe. This is a consequence of infidelity. He plays by your rules or he can get the F out. But you have to stand your ground.
ME 47
WW 52
DDay 6/13/12
Separated 3/13 and NC for my own sanity.
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.
KeepCalm_CarryOn ( member #33374) posted at 4:13 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014
You are absolutly not being unreasonable! We cut out a heck of a lot more people than that!
I agree with others- people who are not friends of the marriage or make you uncomfortable should be cut.
You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.
Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013
Badhurt ( member #41947) posted at 8:53 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014
You are the BS. He is the WS?
There is nothing you need that he has right to say is unreasonable!!!
He has to prove to you he is worthy of you taking him back.
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