Good morning,
It is probably something like synchronicity that when I have started posting for a week to try to understand and heal from the emotional affair of my wife she had 9 years ago, one of our best friends couple is going through toutgh times... they are abroad.
Her WH just leave yesterday after 1 week of reflection at home...
BW is at her sister right now.. and does not have access to an internet access (believe it or not)...
My wife and I will call her today to share supports and advise.
He went trickle truth all the way... minimizing the role of the OW, a former colleague... I would bet my yearly pay that she is involved, even if he said no to BW.
Recently BH improve his clothes style, with perfume, invest in more expensive things....
He talked about the passion missing in his current life.
About his deeper himself, his true himself that he sees now...
He mentionned he wont have that with BW.
He left for his parents yesterday, not for OW..
I dont know yet if the OW is married or in a relationship... if she is, that may explain he did not go and live with her now...
I personnaly bet that he will go and meet the OW sooner or later this week....
He is clearly into the Fog....
BW is asking us what type of behaviour she must have... if she must try to contact WH.
My wife advised her to avoid any contact with him during several days or a couple weeks, which I think is a good advise.
In instantly thought about 180...
In a page describing the 180, one of the first sentence is that BW must have NC with WH after everything else have failed...
It has been only a week since DD1...
So in the pure sense, not everything has been tried...
SO, is 180 advised at this stage ? or is too drastic too early ?
After 1 week of DD, what can be the possibilities BW has in front of her...
She told him the last 24 hours through SMS that she was sad and loves him...
I know for sure that it is not the thing to do... it wont simply work 99% of time (or is it 100 % ?)
WH answered he wants to move on,
does not want to hurt her
and mentionned that the bond existing between them is not sufficient now...
BH also said last week that he needs more, way more proof of love, of affection, of tenderness, and more passion than BW can give...
comments ? he is in my mind clearly in MLC (in his 40s), and the OW triggered him into leaving BW
Mostly impossible to talk to him... he is into it...
How long can it last until he start to talk a little more 'rationnaly' based on your experience ?
We dont think talking to his parents is a good idea... they will be in jeopardy, in a bad position between both, after 15 years of relationship...
Even during NC time betweem WH and BW, would you advise BW wont even try to contact family in law, and why ?
Thx for your help, advice, and words to comfort BW.. We will pas them to her later today, and tomorrow on the phone...
We also select some articles from the Guidelines yesterday for BW, but she will only read them when having a connection again.
Thx
