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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

Just Found Out :
One week

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MC_Jack ( member #35016) posted at 2:36 AM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

My WW responded in the same way. She wanted out of the A on some level, so when I found out, she complied with the requirements.

Still wasn't easy though - the toxic shit in her bead still had to come out, so I had to listen to months and months of nonsense as the 'why' was ascertained.

I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did not know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

posts: 1014   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Mountain West
id 6853925
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UneasyFeelings ( member #42292) posted at 9:07 AM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I wish you the very best in this shitty situation that our so called love one's put us into.

Hopefully, your situation isn't too good to be true.

posts: 150   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2014
id 6854175
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Mac4 ( member #43122) posted at 1:24 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

ABC it sounds like you handled things as well as could be expected. Like MC Jack as well, my WW responded the same way. Seems she had tried to end the A, was riddled with guilt but still couldn't walk away. Almost like a drug addict.

We are working on R, which is a struggle, but will hopefully pay off in the end with an improved M. In the reconcilliation section at the top there is a thread on positive R stories, I find this helpful when I'm down. Best of luck as you work to repair your M, keep posting, keep reading, and take care of yourself the road ahead is long.

BS me 41
WW 42
Married 11 years
R for now I guess
DD 9 & DS 8
DDay 2 (PA) - March 3rd, 2014
DDay 1 (EA) - July 2nd, 2011

posts: 242   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6854259
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 9374ABC (original poster new member #43856) posted at 2:42 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

Thanks for everyone's support and well wishes. We start MC this week, and she sent her no contact letter this morning. I've also asked her to sign a Reconciliation Agreement that my attorney is drafting up.

Interesting fact for those of you in the "just found out" phase: in many states (mine included) if you have sex with your spouse after you become knowledgeable of the affair, it can be considered in the eyes of the court as "condoning the affair." So to keep your legal options open and favorable to your situation; DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE until you consult an attorney and are advised of your options.

I also appreciate the commentors who advised on the "shock and awe" strategy of confrontation. Having all the proof in hand and laying it all on the table gave no room for BS excuses or fiction.

posts: 12   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2014
id 6854341
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