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rollerager (original poster member #39175) posted at 5:51 AM on Thursday, June 26th, 2014
Its been a month since I was sitting at our apartment all alone on a weekend that was supposed to be special because we were spending time without the kids. A month ago I knew in my mind that my WF was out cheating on me and that our relationship was over. I took off my ring and went to bed, he didn't come home til the next morning and after awhile I was able to get him to admit he cheated.
That anger is still inside of me, that pain is still so raw and I hate it. I hate that I still care. For some reason my heart seems to care that he's out running around like a teenager with no responsibilities, more than likely hooking up with different people and I just wish it would stop. I wish my brain was able to let my heart see fully that he is NEVER going to change and that we're moving on. I want to, my brain tells me to but my heart keeps me caring about him.
BS 22
WS 26
D-Day #1 EA/PA Oct 2011
D-Day #2 EA/PA Feb 2012
D-Day #3 EA/PA Mar 2012
^On going affair with former girlfriend.
D-Day #4 PA April 2013
D-Day #5 PA May 2014
I cannot see any hope in R, I am truly shattered.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 2:55 PM on Thursday, June 26th, 2014
(((hugs)))
I had to write down the rational reasons my head saw and often had to reread them for my heart to understand and to quit giving my wayward a pass. I hope that you can reach a resolution that move you toward a healing place soon.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 11:40 PM on Thursday, June 26th, 2014
Sometimes it takes a while for your heart to catch up with your head, and that's OK. Just do your thinking with your head. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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