The Golem effect is the worst! That feeling when you start to believe that you are a total failure because someone in your life keeps telling you that you are a failure, and then you decide to just "go with it" because, "hey, they all believe it anyway."
^ That type of thinking was a big factor in why I didn't think choosing an affair was that big of a deal. I mean, I'm a failure, right?
The Pygmalion effect, on the other hand, seemed to balance the scales somewhat for me. As long as I had someone believing in me, I seemed to be OK (ie: I was able to maintain appropriate boundaries and hold myself up to certain standards). It was only when I lost the Pygmalion glow that I fell into a funk and lost the belief that I had in myself, and began my A.
Anyway, not sure if any of this is helpful to you, but yes, I understand how the two different effects can cause the mind to battle.
I'm still digging my way out of the pit I created in my own mind. One thing I've learned for sure is that right actions matter. And even when I'm feeling at my lowest, I have to remind myself that wrong actions don't lead to right results. Self-respect is more important than self-indulgence.
Don't fall into the Golem trap. Keep your head above water! You are worthy and capable of being the best YOU for you and your family.
