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alwaysrunning ( new member #43897) posted at 4:52 PM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014
I have so many triggers, even this far out from DDay. It really upsets me. In my case, there was a pretty severe trauma bond formed due to the circumstances surrounding my life at the time I met AP on top of the fact that AP was very narcissistic (not NPD, but emotionally abusive, gaslighting, projection, mirroring, basic "crazy making" shenanigans).
The triggers are NEVER about missing AP but they do have a very precise feel to them... I know enough about myself to know they are coming from that broken, dark place (that has healed IMMENSELY since then) and they don't fit in with who I am now. I always try to end a triggering period with either a gentle reminder of the kind of person I was involved with or thoughts of my BH and what a kind, beautiful person he is. The latter is very soothing for me.
Like many others, music has been the biggest for me. But following my thoughts to their logical end during a music trigger helps.
Me: fWW
Him: BH
Married: 9 years, together 14
1 young child
EA began in July 2011, PA followed in August 2011.
DDay#1 December 27, 2011.
DDay #2 March 2012
Separated Oct 2012-December 2013
R started Dec 2013
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