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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Reconciliation :
I may see OW tomorrow

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 aero1122 (original poster member #41575) posted at 4:16 AM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

In the morning I am dropping our son off for camp for the week. The ow son will be there as well and I am so nervous about running into her. I dont know how I will react to seeing her and dont want to lose it in front of my son (who doesn't know what is going on)

To make it worse my WH is away with the military so I dont have him here with me physically.

I am stressing really badly here.

Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!

posts: 108   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2013
id 6870269
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badmedicine ( member #41692) posted at 4:47 AM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

This is one of my biggest fears so I understand the dread!! Just try to focus on your son and saying goodbye and then walk proudly back to the car. You are strong and you can do this. SHE should be ashamed and embarrassed. You have no reason to hide. Good luck!!

"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

posts: 211   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6870287
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plainpain ( member #40139) posted at 4:56 AM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

((Aero))

You have nothing to be embarrassed about - hold your head high. Smile. I would not be surprised if she is feeling the same way, and maybe she will have someone else drop off her child.

Me: Believer, 40s
Him: Liar, 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R. It only hurts now when it rains.

posts: 875   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2013
id 6870293
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Sunnydaysahead ( member #43756) posted at 5:12 AM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

You will do great tomorrow! Seeing the OW is Never fun. Hold your head up, give your son lots of love and ignore the OW. She is nothing to you and does not deserve your notice (I know, easier said than done).

Stay strong, you can do this!!

posts: 250   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014
id 6870302
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 12:05 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

I don't know what I would do either. Spend some time imagining the best and the worst scenarios and really draw them out. You do not want to flip out--I'm sure I would be really tempted so I get that. You want to maintain control, especially in front of your child so walk through it in your head a few times to get comfortable with the idea.

Good luck. Hugs.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 6870424
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Hatemyhusband ( member #41633) posted at 7:37 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

Smile at her. Keep smiling. Say nothing. It will eat at her and kill her to see u happy.

She will expect u to flip. Do the opposite. I always do opposite of the expected. Screws with minds more. Xo

posts: 667   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2013
id 6870749
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 aero1122 (original poster member #41575) posted at 8:54 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

I survived it!

Saw her and walked right past her with a big smile. She turned and walked away with her head down.

It took all of me to not punch her in her face but it was better for me to know i am the bigger and better person.

That was rough but another victory for me.

Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!

posts: 108   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2013
id 6870805
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Sunnydaysahead ( member #43756) posted at 9:47 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

Good for you!!!! You handled the situation with class, that is the best revenge ever. Happy for your victory!!

posts: 250   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014
id 6870851
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NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 10:55 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

I remember one time I had to walk past the OW.

I actually looked at her laughed, like she was such a freakin' joke that I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her.

Good times....good times.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

posts: 6327   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6870911
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badmedicine ( member #41692) posted at 11:02 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

Way to go!!! Glad you made it through and felt strong. You are.

"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

posts: 211   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6870919
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littleflower ( member #42673) posted at 11:05 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014

aero1122

Good on you !

I hope I can show as much class as you when I end up in the same situation

DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW - what a cow
3 kids under 4

posts: 101   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2014
id 6870923
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AML04 ( member #39682) posted at 2:59 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014

Way to go!!!! Be proud of yourself!!

Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

posts: 876   ·   registered: Jun. 27th, 2013   ·   location: MA
id 6871133
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bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 3:53 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014

Hmm. Glad it went ok.

I mostly pretend she is invisible. Not sure why I would smile at her?

me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.

posts: 3521   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6871183
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:24 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014

You GO, aero!

That big smile was sure to tell her that she's not even a blip on your radar.

I'm so glad you got through it.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6871203
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