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DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 6:47 PM on Monday, July 28th, 2014
Hopeful74, we are in Year 4. I hesitate to say reconciled (past tense) only because I never want to get complacent and marriages always require commitment and work. Anything important in life does, and sadly that's not what we did prior to dday. As far as the affair itself goes and having dealt with it, then yes reconciled/past tense. Our marriage is stronger and better now. Life is good. You can make new memories which will replace the old tainted ones.
Bionicgal, really nailed it here. This was about a WS being broken and in a crisis and finding likewise. A mirror. That's all.
If you both work at it, you will find out a lot about yourself, your spouse and your marriage. It's not all going to be good, but it's necessary. It's going to be hard and painful. You will realize very important things along the way too. I remember being able to move from "How could you do this to me?" to "How could you do this to yourself?" There was a big shift in my thinking when I saw it that way. Many big and subtle shifts will come to your awareness.
It's a long process to get to acceptance. You can't rush it. It's your own individual journey on your own timeframe. Good luck with everything.
deepestkindofsad ( new member #44017) posted at 6:51 PM on Monday, July 28th, 2014
SadieMae: Thank you! And good for you. It's a process. I was cheated on. I chose to try to reconcile. Most of the time I am glad about my choice but sometimes the doubt that he proved I should have scares me enough to consider bailing. I mean, how do I know he won't cheat again? I trusted him before...and look where that got me? I hope I can get to where you are soon.
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