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steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 5:06 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
I am having a resurgence of anger. I kind of want to punch him in the neck, most of the time. Talking isn't helping... I almost feel myself wanting to pick fights with him so I have an excuse to yell. I feel like I need to fight. I don't really want to fight with him.
I didn't have this after dday1...
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
funnyguy ( member #43192) posted at 5:32 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
Hang in there , I am also 9 months in and I have allot of anger, I also have allot mixed feeling towards her. I joined a gym and it seems to help when I get in these moods
Huggs
steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 7:10 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
He told me to yell at him, then.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
FeelingMN ( member #32240) posted at 7:32 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
The roller coaster sucks. I think you should be able to be angry but you are also responsible for your actions while you are angry. Even if WH is telling you to go ahead and yell, over the long run you may find that it does more harm than good. Funnyguy is right to turn that energy into something that helps you by going to the gym.
Are you angry about something specific? Are you in R? Is WH doing things to help you?
Me 41
fWW 37
DD(19), DS(17), DD(11) (Mine, hers, ours)
Together 14y, Married 12
DDay Aug 2010, 4 mos TT & gaslighting
ONS + EA after 15yr Class reunion out of state
steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 7:41 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
We are in R. fwh is actively earning the F. (The former, in FWH. 
) after dday1, he was still TTing this far out... And so we were still fighting.
I am angry about dday1, tbh. And that there was a dday2 after ALL that. I am angry that the first 11 years of our relationship was a total sham. And that NOW, after all this, he's the husband I've always wanted. I am angry, because even if he weren't, I have been unable to find work, and would be financially unable to leave, if he were to do this again.
I feel so impotent! Exercise was helping. (I've lost 30 pounds from the elliptical, really long walks and kick boxing... ) but it's not so much anymore. plus if I continue at this level, I will be under 100 pounds again, by Christmas... And I am enjoying being thin again, I am not sure that thin is where I ever want to be again. (I could have worse problems...) i just don't feel control over my own life.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
peaceBmine ( member #44060) posted at 10:27 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2014
Right there with you. 3.5 months out and anger set in big time earlier this week. We are on a family vacation with no place to "hide", so screaming and yelling is out of the question. It sucks. I am praying this stage doesn't last long.
Me (BS)- 42
Him (WS)- 44
Married 21 years
3 beautiful daughters (18,16,14)
DDay- 4/23/14- 6 month EA turned PA just before DDay
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